Then maybe he is a shitty communicator or bored of you. Because the bottom line is that he is unhappy with you. Even me and my overly independant ass would have told my husband by now. There's a chance that he might BE doing something wrong but if it seems that the both of you are unhappy in the relationship it might be time to try counseling or call it quits.
I'll tell you this, might help you gain some insight on escapism.
My buddy is a man, 53 years old, and his wife has had drug/depression/stealing money from him/alcohol/smoking problems in the past and no matter what he has done, none of her problems seem to ever let up. He he has given up. He works as much as possible, watches TV all day (despite her coming in front of the TV now and then to nag at him about not getting butter when grocery shopping, etc.), and sometimes just leaves without telling her. I did the same fucking thing when I lived there. She sucked the life out of everyone with her issues.
I'm not saying you have a drug/depression problem but he might be fed up with reality or the reality of the relationship and trying to escape something that he perceives to be sucking the life out of him. You have to get the root of the problem. What are you doing, what's getting him and what you can do to help. People don't always communicate with words but in the case of my buddy, who is fed up with words as fighting her has proven to be futile, whose wife can't for the life of her figure out why he is so upset, there is communication there but you have to pay close attention to the entire situation.
Like I said, I'm a hard pill to swallow. And I know I'm not a perfect girlfriend at all. I do have jealousy issues, and I understand that he gets fed up with that. But even on days when my jealousy doesn't come out at all, he still leaves. I'm happy in the relationship, and he seems to be too. He's always happy and very loveable towards me as he's always been. That's why I know he's not cheating.
If you're both happy then maybe he's just being a bitch about it. I was under the impression that he was going out more often then just once a week. And he won't just tell you where he is going? If you've already cleared all of the above and you're confident that you're not pissing him off in a way that you could avoid then that's a huge red flag.
Like I said, I'm an independent person myself but even I would just tell my husband. This guy has way too much spare time on his hands and needs time away, no doubt, not having a job will do that to you but the least he can do is put his frustrations into getting another job.
You're not getting it from his part. And he knows that you're not happy. I'd hate to say this, but if you're so unhappy with a relationship that you're coming HERE to have to talk this out, then you need to see a relationship counselor or some other professional because it's not going to get any better.
And him being a little bitch and not telling you where he is going like a kid shows a serious lack of consideration for you on his part. Don't get stuck in this kind of relationship because of the familiarity of it. There is no way you're happy with this dude. Maybe you were, but you're not anymore and life's too short to waste it on a guy that doesn't value you.
You're suffering, and you have to look out for yourself.
The funny thing is, while her husband completely shuts her out, (we're all so used to her moping that we just subconsciusly accept it), he talks just fine to me. She says that he has a communication problem but he speaks to me just fine.
She has never sat down with him and watched TV with him and laughed at his jokes or appreciated his sense of humor. She has never gone to a car show with him and ooohhed and ahhheed along with him, or listened to his incessant engine talk. She treats him as a bank and an inconvenience, but we get along just fine. Maybe try doing what I do. Sit down with the guy, play video games with him, bond with him and what he likes to do because he obviously feels disconnected from you right now.
Yeah, I understand that. We both know that we're not always both into the same things. But I'll watch his stuff, and he'll watch mine. Sometimes we spend time apart-he'll be in the living room, and I'll be in the bedroom. I was the one concerned about that, but he said it's normal for couples to do that. We do laugh a lot and play around. He's intimate in other ways: he still kisses me, hugs me out of nowhere, wants me to lay with him, etc. It's just his sex drive is not all there anymore.
Is it normal that I'm suspicious of my boyfriend?
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Then maybe he is a shitty communicator or bored of you. Because the bottom line is that he is unhappy with you. Even me and my overly independant ass would have told my husband by now. There's a chance that he might BE doing something wrong but if it seems that the both of you are unhappy in the relationship it might be time to try counseling or call it quits.
I'll tell you this, might help you gain some insight on escapism.
My buddy is a man, 53 years old, and his wife has had drug/depression/stealing money from him/alcohol/smoking problems in the past and no matter what he has done, none of her problems seem to ever let up. He he has given up. He works as much as possible, watches TV all day (despite her coming in front of the TV now and then to nag at him about not getting butter when grocery shopping, etc.), and sometimes just leaves without telling her. I did the same fucking thing when I lived there. She sucked the life out of everyone with her issues.
I'm not saying you have a drug/depression problem but he might be fed up with reality or the reality of the relationship and trying to escape something that he perceives to be sucking the life out of him. You have to get the root of the problem. What are you doing, what's getting him and what you can do to help. People don't always communicate with words but in the case of my buddy, who is fed up with words as fighting her has proven to be futile, whose wife can't for the life of her figure out why he is so upset, there is communication there but you have to pay close attention to the entire situation.
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riley10
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NeuroNeptunian
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Like I said, I'm a hard pill to swallow. And I know I'm not a perfect girlfriend at all. I do have jealousy issues, and I understand that he gets fed up with that. But even on days when my jealousy doesn't come out at all, he still leaves. I'm happy in the relationship, and he seems to be too. He's always happy and very loveable towards me as he's always been. That's why I know he's not cheating.
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If you're both happy then maybe he's just being a bitch about it. I was under the impression that he was going out more often then just once a week. And he won't just tell you where he is going? If you've already cleared all of the above and you're confident that you're not pissing him off in a way that you could avoid then that's a huge red flag.
Like I said, I'm an independent person myself but even I would just tell my husband. This guy has way too much spare time on his hands and needs time away, no doubt, not having a job will do that to you but the least he can do is put his frustrations into getting another job.
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riley10
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No shit. I'm independent, but I'm open with him. It's a relationship; it should be open and honest.
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You're not getting it from his part. And he knows that you're not happy. I'd hate to say this, but if you're so unhappy with a relationship that you're coming HERE to have to talk this out, then you need to see a relationship counselor or some other professional because it's not going to get any better.
And him being a little bitch and not telling you where he is going like a kid shows a serious lack of consideration for you on his part. Don't get stuck in this kind of relationship because of the familiarity of it. There is no way you're happy with this dude. Maybe you were, but you're not anymore and life's too short to waste it on a guy that doesn't value you.
You're suffering, and you have to look out for yourself.
The funny thing is, while her husband completely shuts her out, (we're all so used to her moping that we just subconsciusly accept it), he talks just fine to me. She says that he has a communication problem but he speaks to me just fine.
She has never sat down with him and watched TV with him and laughed at his jokes or appreciated his sense of humor. She has never gone to a car show with him and ooohhed and ahhheed along with him, or listened to his incessant engine talk. She treats him as a bank and an inconvenience, but we get along just fine. Maybe try doing what I do. Sit down with the guy, play video games with him, bond with him and what he likes to do because he obviously feels disconnected from you right now.
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riley10
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Yeah, I understand that. We both know that we're not always both into the same things. But I'll watch his stuff, and he'll watch mine. Sometimes we spend time apart-he'll be in the living room, and I'll be in the bedroom. I was the one concerned about that, but he said it's normal for couples to do that. We do laugh a lot and play around. He's intimate in other ways: he still kisses me, hugs me out of nowhere, wants me to lay with him, etc. It's just his sex drive is not all there anymore.