Ask Your Question today
I just feel so isolated. I want to reach out and connect with someone, but every time I try I just pull back further. In my mind I want to be a normal person, but I can't. Just the other week I tried to shove away all my closest friends, so that I wouldn't hurt them like I always do. They wouldn't let me though. How is it that I can literally ache with longing for human contact, and yet fear it more than anything in the world?
I guess that one can look at human contact as a way of remembering (spiritually-speaking) or as a way of forgetting (all of life's little problems). If one's desire is to move toward remembrance, then solitude can get you there... or the right kinds of friends. If the desire is to forget, then friends can get you there... or a suitable, solitary past-time. Perhaps you need to more deeply define your ache or longing. Where lies your remembrance and where lies your forgetting? Perhaps if you fully embrace one of these (even in solitude) it opens up to friends; or if you fully embrace the other (even amongst friends), it leads to a easier, happier solitude. I'm only just now thinking about this, so I really don't know if I'm being wise or not. I thank you for the opportunity to think about it, though.