I'll start off by saying that in no way are you being bitchy or aggressive in your opinion. I enjoy discussions as well.
The first thing you wrote sort of confuses me because what I find ugly could be considered good looking to you. However, I would have sort of a hard time believing that you like someone who you don't find attractive. I mean regardless of the emotional connection that you feel, it must be hard to sleep with the person. I mean I'm aware that a beautiful personality can make a person, who one would not give a second glance at, look much more attractive but personality can only go so far. I mean a person who I connect with emotionally would make for an excellent friend, but I wouldn't want it to go any further if I didn't find them in the slightest attractive. That's just me though, I can respect anyone who thinks differently, hell I like seeing people who normally date people who are conventionally unattractive.
You mention that "I just think OP has a different set of standards than what I'm used to seeing, and that it's nice." Well I've heard people say similar things to be honest, how they just say that they look for one specific trait in a person but in actuality omit that a potential partner needs other assets as well, like say looks. I just don't like it when people say that they want a person who is "___" but don't mention that they need to look good to for fear of sounding superficial. That's my main argument, it hurts some people when they hear someone say that "Oh I like nerds" but then get completely ignored when you're awkward looking but are into D&D. Just admit that you want to be with an attractive person who has an attractive personality. Admit that you want the whole package but don't lie to yourself and other people saying that this quality is really important to you.
Well actually, granted in some ways this quality is important to you. But you should still admit that you want the whole package. I mean I get it, I get where you're coming from Wyomingite. It is refreshing to see someone, much less a guy, say that they care about someone who has intelligence. But I've seen this as well, numerous times, people saying that they care about personality or certain aspects about a person that aren't just looks. But the actuality is that they want looks to, everyone wants their partner to look nice. I know that I may be coming off as a bit harsh or social justice-y but I just would like it if people stopped saying that they wanted someone who is simply "smart" or "nice" and instead specified what they really want in a partner, looks and otherwise.
I honestly can date people who I don't find good-looking. I'm attracted to them sexually, but I am also aware that they are not handsome.
I never thought of that distinction very much until recently, but there it is. I think it's a beauty-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder kind of effect. On the other hand, I have a very good-looking male friend who I am not sexually attracted to at all. Don't know why. Just is.
I must not be normal. Perhaps I should start a post about it, but I don't really care. :)
I also agree with you that there are secondary preferences for dating, such as looks, that people often do not voice so they don't seem shallow. I am not trying to seem superior to others here. Honest to goodness, the only 'dealbreakers' I seem to have are notably poor hygiene, racism, sexism, and homophobia. Otherwise it's pretty much anyone's game. If someone asks me out, I'll go on at least three dates, to give myself time to develop an attraction (or lose one). If I ask someone out, same applies. Within that time, my attraction to them strengthens, wanes, or sometimes forms out of the blue - like when I go out with someone I don't find attractive because I give them a chance anyway, and viola! Sometimes I end up being attracted to them. Sometimes not.
I'm straight but I went on three dates with a girl for this very reason. I was already very comfortable and confident in my heterosexuality, but just because she asked me out I said yes. (I didn't lead her on - I mentioned that I was comfortably hetero, but was open-minded and thought I might surprise myself. She was cool with that.)
I think it's because I'm a very emotional person. If I feel an emotional or intellectual connection, it really will outweigh virtually anything else.
Well I have to say based on how well written your reply was I can sort of believe you. It does seem like you're a very emotional person and that's important to you. Kudos on being aware that you might've lead this girl on and didn't. I have to admit, I can't say that I've heard of someone like you.
I have not to be honest. However, I've heard plenty of people claim that to them looks don't matter and this I don't believe. But you seem to be different.
Is it normal that I'm only attracted to intelligent women?
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I'll start off by saying that in no way are you being bitchy or aggressive in your opinion. I enjoy discussions as well.
The first thing you wrote sort of confuses me because what I find ugly could be considered good looking to you. However, I would have sort of a hard time believing that you like someone who you don't find attractive. I mean regardless of the emotional connection that you feel, it must be hard to sleep with the person. I mean I'm aware that a beautiful personality can make a person, who one would not give a second glance at, look much more attractive but personality can only go so far. I mean a person who I connect with emotionally would make for an excellent friend, but I wouldn't want it to go any further if I didn't find them in the slightest attractive. That's just me though, I can respect anyone who thinks differently, hell I like seeing people who normally date people who are conventionally unattractive.
You mention that "I just think OP has a different set of standards than what I'm used to seeing, and that it's nice." Well I've heard people say similar things to be honest, how they just say that they look for one specific trait in a person but in actuality omit that a potential partner needs other assets as well, like say looks. I just don't like it when people say that they want a person who is "___" but don't mention that they need to look good to for fear of sounding superficial. That's my main argument, it hurts some people when they hear someone say that "Oh I like nerds" but then get completely ignored when you're awkward looking but are into D&D. Just admit that you want to be with an attractive person who has an attractive personality. Admit that you want the whole package but don't lie to yourself and other people saying that this quality is really important to you.
Well actually, granted in some ways this quality is important to you. But you should still admit that you want the whole package. I mean I get it, I get where you're coming from Wyomingite. It is refreshing to see someone, much less a guy, say that they care about someone who has intelligence. But I've seen this as well, numerous times, people saying that they care about personality or certain aspects about a person that aren't just looks. But the actuality is that they want looks to, everyone wants their partner to look nice. I know that I may be coming off as a bit harsh or social justice-y but I just would like it if people stopped saying that they wanted someone who is simply "smart" or "nice" and instead specified what they really want in a partner, looks and otherwise.
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Wyomingite
9 years ago
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I honestly can date people who I don't find good-looking. I'm attracted to them sexually, but I am also aware that they are not handsome.
I never thought of that distinction very much until recently, but there it is. I think it's a beauty-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder kind of effect. On the other hand, I have a very good-looking male friend who I am not sexually attracted to at all. Don't know why. Just is.
I must not be normal. Perhaps I should start a post about it, but I don't really care. :)
I also agree with you that there are secondary preferences for dating, such as looks, that people often do not voice so they don't seem shallow. I am not trying to seem superior to others here. Honest to goodness, the only 'dealbreakers' I seem to have are notably poor hygiene, racism, sexism, and homophobia. Otherwise it's pretty much anyone's game. If someone asks me out, I'll go on at least three dates, to give myself time to develop an attraction (or lose one). If I ask someone out, same applies. Within that time, my attraction to them strengthens, wanes, or sometimes forms out of the blue - like when I go out with someone I don't find attractive because I give them a chance anyway, and viola! Sometimes I end up being attracted to them. Sometimes not.
I'm straight but I went on three dates with a girl for this very reason. I was already very comfortable and confident in my heterosexuality, but just because she asked me out I said yes. (I didn't lead her on - I mentioned that I was comfortably hetero, but was open-minded and thought I might surprise myself. She was cool with that.)
I think it's because I'm a very emotional person. If I feel an emotional or intellectual connection, it really will outweigh virtually anything else.
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Anime7
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Well I have to say based on how well written your reply was I can sort of believe you. It does seem like you're a very emotional person and that's important to you. Kudos on being aware that you might've lead this girl on and didn't. I have to admit, I can't say that I've heard of someone like you.
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Wyomingite
9 years ago
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Thanks, although I am concerned that you've never heard of anyone else like me . . . :)
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Anime7
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I have not to be honest. However, I've heard plenty of people claim that to them looks don't matter and this I don't believe. But you seem to be different.