Despite the fact that I know I am not fat and I know that I have a good, healthy figure, I still feel as if I need to be thinner and I feel bad for being under the delusion that thinner=more attractive even though most men that I have met told me that they prefer features but I think that that is a fancy way to tell me that I am fat but they don't want me to feel bad about it (I am 5'4, 125 lbs size 6 pants and c cups). I can lose down to 115 (which I have) but I still look like a clown with my fat ass, my big hips and my chest. I have sabotaged my own self-esteem thinking that no one is honest enough to tell me that I need to lose weight. I sometimes wonder what those thin girls think when they see me, probably that I am a disgusting gluttonous pig...
But everyone tells me I'm thin. So I feel bad for anorexics. The difference between me and an anorexic is that I live a very active lifestyle and need the calories to burn, I can't let my self-esteem get in the way of my life. This body is all I've got.
My waist is small. Everything else is big.
I think Tyra Banks sealed the deal when a size 2 model came in and she said "how do you expect to be so fat and get this contract, your ass is huge! Ever heard of a gym?"
Is it normal that I'm jealous of anorexics?
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I'm jealous of them for being so thin.
Despite the fact that I know I am not fat and I know that I have a good, healthy figure, I still feel as if I need to be thinner and I feel bad for being under the delusion that thinner=more attractive even though most men that I have met told me that they prefer features but I think that that is a fancy way to tell me that I am fat but they don't want me to feel bad about it (I am 5'4, 125 lbs size 6 pants and c cups). I can lose down to 115 (which I have) but I still look like a clown with my fat ass, my big hips and my chest. I have sabotaged my own self-esteem thinking that no one is honest enough to tell me that I need to lose weight. I sometimes wonder what those thin girls think when they see me, probably that I am a disgusting gluttonous pig...
But everyone tells me I'm thin. So I feel bad for anorexics. The difference between me and an anorexic is that I live a very active lifestyle and need the calories to burn, I can't let my self-esteem get in the way of my life. This body is all I've got.
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Avant-Garde
11 years ago
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Blame the "delusions" on the media and try not to let your self-esteem get ruined by it:)
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NeuroNeptunian
11 years ago
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My waist is small. Everything else is big.
I think Tyra Banks sealed the deal when a size 2 model came in and she said "how do you expect to be so fat and get this contract, your ass is huge! Ever heard of a gym?"