And I'm not talking about his crying - he's allowed. But apparently, when that does happen, it is under a significant level of duress and anguish (and I suspect that the cause of the argument/conflict is all the more amplified by the HORRIBLE fact you threaten to leave him in the midst of it all! And "I'm just angry," is NO EXCUSE).
And while I'm so glad for you (not really) that his crying sessions give you the wet-n-stickys, I am now forced to wonder if you do it on purpose? And by that, I don't necessarily mean you consciously act this out (though, I wouldn't be surprised, frankly), but more that you seek this level of emotional exchange because that is what you get off on/reaffirms you/makes you feel secure/or whatthefuckEVER it is. Either way, every time, you're killing him inside a little bit more. So remember that next time you transform apedestrian spat into a nuclear yield explosion just so you can feel the f*cking love and get your jollies.
You *say* you love him... but then you'll threaten your departure when the shit gets too thick? Or what? He says something mean? Love is not something you can recall or a take away like a treat for a dog. This, what you're doing, that's not love. That's manipulation. That's you putting him in crisis-mode because of your own issues, just so you can feel better about... whatever. It's what we do to the people we say we love that defines us and matters most - consider that next time you decide to ruin him for an evening.
Shame on you... for treating something so special and precious as 'love' with such malice. Like so many others, you are undeserving of such a gift. But THAT, after all, IS the lesson you are charged to learn. And as it seems now, entirely @ your boyfriend's expense.
Do yourselves a favor: work on yourself and figure out WHY his emotional destruction gets you off (and no, it's not 'normal,') and/or leave him. No one should be forced to remember "love" in a such a painful and helpless way. Good luck to you. I pity you both.
I think this is pretty unfair. I do sometimes tell him I'm leaving him when I am angry, yes, but mostly because I'm hurt by something. He also does the same thing to me, he says things that hurt me deeply, and he often tells me he is leaving to purposely hurt me. I get upset and sometimes I cry too, sometimes we both cry together. and we get through it together. I don't hurt him just so I can feel wanted, it's just that when he does, I think it's sweet and I want to be close to him and I think I like it more than most do. I like when he cries, I think, because it means that he cares enough to cry for me, and I can feel his raw emotion. I don't think you can be so judgmental when you do not know me or him. I do love him, and maybe we are not exactly "normal", we have our flaws, indeed... but I think we are special in our own way. I think it's gross that you talk about sex that way. When I say I get turned on, I don't mean I just want to get pleasure out of him. I think sex can be an emotional, beautiful thing and I feel turned on the most when I feel the most in love. Not like it's really anyone's business, but I am only 18, and I have never had sex and don't plan to for awhile, so it's not like get him to have sex with me when he is in emotional anguish. Save your pity, because he and I are both strong, and we make it through all our emotional lows together. Don't pass your judgment upon me when you don't know me.
IIN that I'm immensely turned on by my boyfriend when he cries?
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This is not cool, sweetie. Not even kinda.
And I'm not talking about his crying - he's allowed. But apparently, when that does happen, it is under a significant level of duress and anguish (and I suspect that the cause of the argument/conflict is all the more amplified by the HORRIBLE fact you threaten to leave him in the midst of it all! And "I'm just angry," is NO EXCUSE).
And while I'm so glad for you (not really) that his crying sessions give you the wet-n-stickys, I am now forced to wonder if you do it on purpose? And by that, I don't necessarily mean you consciously act this out (though, I wouldn't be surprised, frankly), but more that you seek this level of emotional exchange because that is what you get off on/reaffirms you/makes you feel secure/or whatthefuckEVER it is. Either way, every time, you're killing him inside a little bit more. So remember that next time you transform apedestrian spat into a nuclear yield explosion just so you can feel the f*cking love and get your jollies.
You *say* you love him... but then you'll threaten your departure when the shit gets too thick? Or what? He says something mean? Love is not something you can recall or a take away like a treat for a dog. This, what you're doing, that's not love. That's manipulation. That's you putting him in crisis-mode because of your own issues, just so you can feel better about... whatever. It's what we do to the people we say we love that defines us and matters most - consider that next time you decide to ruin him for an evening.
Shame on you... for treating something so special and precious as 'love' with such malice. Like so many others, you are undeserving of such a gift. But THAT, after all, IS the lesson you are charged to learn. And as it seems now, entirely @ your boyfriend's expense.
Do yourselves a favor: work on yourself and figure out WHY his emotional destruction gets you off (and no, it's not 'normal,') and/or leave him. No one should be forced to remember "love" in a such a painful and helpless way. Good luck to you. I pity you both.
//T
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AnaAmina
13 years ago
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I think this is pretty unfair. I do sometimes tell him I'm leaving him when I am angry, yes, but mostly because I'm hurt by something. He also does the same thing to me, he says things that hurt me deeply, and he often tells me he is leaving to purposely hurt me. I get upset and sometimes I cry too, sometimes we both cry together. and we get through it together. I don't hurt him just so I can feel wanted, it's just that when he does, I think it's sweet and I want to be close to him and I think I like it more than most do. I like when he cries, I think, because it means that he cares enough to cry for me, and I can feel his raw emotion. I don't think you can be so judgmental when you do not know me or him. I do love him, and maybe we are not exactly "normal", we have our flaws, indeed... but I think we are special in our own way. I think it's gross that you talk about sex that way. When I say I get turned on, I don't mean I just want to get pleasure out of him. I think sex can be an emotional, beautiful thing and I feel turned on the most when I feel the most in love. Not like it's really anyone's business, but I am only 18, and I have never had sex and don't plan to for awhile, so it's not like get him to have sex with me when he is in emotional anguish. Save your pity, because he and I are both strong, and we make it through all our emotional lows together. Don't pass your judgment upon me when you don't know me.