Is it normal that i'm going to teach my children to swear?

I'm going to be a father in a couple years and I want my children to swear. No seriously, I ain't kidding folks, I'm going to make sure they become intelligent foulmouths. Why? So they can fucking stand up to all the bullies at the school they might go to. If they get any shitcrap my kids will just swear at them and be the toughest kids in the schoolyard, nobody will pick on 'em and that means no loss of self-esteem and therefore no failure.

I will make sure I get them into brutal death metal with plenty of tough cursing to toughen them up too. I won't try and scare them or anything with horror movies, they can watch normal kids stuff but in music terms I'll make sure the first pieces of music they hear is serious, real death metal music rather than lighter commercial stuff, they can get into that when they're older. If they turn out to be metalheads when they grow up, that's a bonus because they won't have to get into lighter stuff.

I'm not saying I want my kids to grow up to become thugs, I just want them to be tough with enough foul words in their vocabulary to drive away the bad stuff from people. Plus, you know what kids are like today! Swearing is a hip thing for kids to do so they might be popular for it because they're taking a risk.

Is this normal... btw I don't care if it isn't normal, I'm doing this anyway. I think everybody should swear and I'm making sure my kids get a big head-start before the first grade teachers tell them it's "wrong" and makes them into wusses that'll get pushed down by a bully and won't know how to insult them back. They're gonna be swearing everywhere they go, and if anybody has a problem with that I'll tell them that it's a part of our lives and it's good to do it. is it normal peeps?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 78 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 29 )
  • wigsplitz

    Nobody fucked with me at school and I didn't swear (much).

    Your focus is on the wrong things. And why do you feel the need to prepare your unborn kids for bullies in school?? By doing so, you're teaching them to be agressors essentially. Bullying might not even happen to them. Deal with it IF it comes up, and deal with it responsibly.

    Why not focus on developing good personalities, character and values??

    You're going to end up with unruly, rebellious, defiant kids. If you think for a second that they are going to have any respect for you if YOU are teaching them to act with no respect, you've got another thing coming. You WILL be sorry.

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  • Honestly I have staved off a lot of people looking to start a fight just by having quick coming, clever comebacks an most of the time it doesn't involve cursing

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  • Hmmaybe

    I am never bullied and I HAVE NEVER SWORN ever.

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  • Please do the world a favor and don't breed haha don't think about multiplying

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  • Your kids are going to hate you. Making them into tough kids who swear isn't going to build their self-esteem! And they're not going to enjoy death metal at such a young age, just you watch!

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    • Ensnared

      My step daughter of 2 loves Napalm Death!

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  • justsomgirl

    Please never reproduce.

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  • toogoodtobetrue

    Don't forget - if you teach them to swear and disrespect everyone, they will also do it to you. Be careful what you wish for.

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    • Exactly. Your children will disrespect everyone. But yeah.. The OP seems like a fool to be honest.

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  • jesusj

    Man seroiusly messed up from the beginning. If they curse at other kids they'll just get into fights. Then that will change their whole future.

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  • Spencer521

    Really???? I'm appalled? What kind of father would you be? Please do the world a favor and don't multiply. You don't deserve children nor does a child need to grow up with a father who has no morals.

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  • DemonicFortuneCookie

    Swearing doesn't scare people. What does is calmly explaining in vivid detail how you are going to torture them in your basement for years, forcing them to suffer unimaginable agony while they plead for death.

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  • Verstehen

    Shitcrap is not a word. And it's redundant. Why don't you just skip the assumption that they're going to be picked on as much as you were? Maybe you just weren't cool, and maybe your kids will be. Just because you were class nerd doesn't mean they're destined to be.

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  • littlemissgiggles

    Whatever happened to just letting your kids be kids???!!! I got to enjoy my childhood and so should your kids! You do realise that by teaching them to swear and making them become metalheads is actually going to make them outsiders at school......small children are into hi-5 not metallica

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  • joybird

    I don't believe this poll. The guy's writing is too grammatically correct. I was never bullied at school and my way of arguing was to use words the other kids didn't know the meaning of, so they couldn't answer me. They just had to walk away while I waited for a reply.

    Any dumbass can swear, and get into trouble at school when the teachers overhear them. Grow up and talk sense! You are coming across as a right idiot - which I don't believe.

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  • It usually works by humiliation, however the more people around the sooner it will work.
    Don't call me a bully either bucause it's not bullying if it goes both ways

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  • -merriroz-

    Cussing doesn't always solve everything

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  • newdeath1701

    Teach them to defend them selves. Teach them martial arts. Way more usefull

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  • Jessie735513

    Well fuck this shit and dammit all to hell.

    I wasn't brought up swearing-but every kid will do eventually. As long as you don't drop the almighty c-bomb (that word is so ugly)

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  • SwimBikeRun

    You claim that you're not going to teach them to be rude. But what you don't seem to understand is that children don't have the problem solving skills to determine when and with who to act certain ways. They lack the executive functioning skills to make decisions like that. It won't take very long for them to say something to the wrong person and they're either in trouble at school or they get popped in the mouth and it will be your fault not theirs.

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  • you dont sound wise

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  • Great parent. Ha!

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  • HeyMyNameIsCeci

    Okay, honestly, I know a lot of kids just learn swearing from the media, school, or even their own parents. Now parents that teach them to swear is just weird. First off, they are most likely to learn on their own. Second off, what kind of parent are you? That's just weird, and I can't tell you how to live your life or to raise your children but I'm telling you how I've been raised, maybe instead of teaching your children to swear, you should teach them respect, and how to truly defend themselves. I mean it can be okay to swear once in a while but seriously, my parents hated me swearing, and they said I look so ugly swearing to other people. I stopped, and did what they said. They said if I swore more I could have been a bully. But then again swearing always doesn't work. The bully can also kick your ass just like these other people said. The bully can just get all up on you and BAM. Yeah kick your little son's or daugher's butt. Now, if you want them to have real defense. Teach them how to defend themselves. Like maybe a little boxing here or there, and some other sports too. But I'm not saying they should fight. But it's always good to defend yourself. Just don't become a bully plese. Also, there are other words instead of swear words to get back at people. Examples would be movies. (: You don't always have to get back at someone with swear words. Just good words will get them back :)

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  • I never said I wanted them to start fights, I just want them to be able to swear back at people if they get abused. I'm not going to teach them to be rude to people! WTF is wrong with all of you.

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  • TehPurpleOne

    Well, personally, dude, I think it's fine, but you should really try to curb their mentality of when it's appropriate to curse or not. It's one thing if you want to stand up for yourself, and I respect that, but I think you should try and make them come off as respectful as possible, until they're fucked with.

    And all of you people above... You are too sensitive. Cursing is normal. They're gonna discover the art of cursing either way, so it may as well be earlier. You just gotta teach them when to use it.

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs

    No way, they'd get in loads of trouble with teachers and stuff and the parents of their friends would hate them, seeing your child as a bad influence! Just teach him/her to be an elite MMA fighter a young age. Then they can smack those bullying fuckers in the face. Swearing doesnt scare most people, but a round house kick to the face will

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  • SweetSherry

    FAKE

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    • wigsplitz

      hopefully...

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  • SwimBikeRun

    A lot of good a curse word is going to do when they're being punched in the face for being d-bags. To the contrary I think its quite possible that if they grow up this way they will be outcasts for acting like meatheads. They will be the kids that get made fun of everyday and then brig a gun to school ten years later and end up in prison. Awesome future you've got planned for them "dad."

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