It sounds like a difficult thing to have to deal with. I don't mean this to be in any way offensive, but I'm not sure IIN is the best place to be broaching the question. Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor who specialises in matters of sexuality? They may help you get to the bottom of it and allow you a happier, more settled life.
Is it normal that I'm confused and sexually repressed?
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It sounds like a difficult thing to have to deal with. I don't mean this to be in any way offensive, but I'm not sure IIN is the best place to be broaching the question. Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor who specialises in matters of sexuality? They may help you get to the bottom of it and allow you a happier, more settled life.