Is it normal that I'm 20 and never even had any friends that are girls

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  • There are many girls in your position too - shy, low self-esteem, no experience with the opposite sex.

    Would you turn a girl down because of this? Would you turn one down because you would be their first ever kiss, their first ever boyfriend?

    I'm going to guess the answer is no.

    Plenty of girls wouldn't dismiss you on this basis if you've still got an appealing personality. So don't become preoccupied with your lack of experience, and don't allow it to put you off working on your self-confidence.

    If you have opportunities to socialise with a mixed group (boys and girls) take them. If you have a hobby that gives you an opportunity to interact with girls casually in a comfortable environment, make the most of it. If you don't, think about starting one (film club, book club, creative writing classes, language classes... stuff that involves socialising).

    Also, there's no reason not to use this wonderful tool, the internet, to make some female friends.

    A great rule of thumb, though, is to remember that girls are just guys with different bits - if you treat them like some exotic creature or a trophy to be won, you'll struggle to make any friends at all, let alone long-lasting friendships (or more).

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    • Yeah I feel like I'm stuck right now because I go to community college and there really isn't any socializing that goes on because everyone just goes to class and goes home. Maybe I should join a club at my school, I've thought about it but never did it because my classes got in the way. I've heard the expression "don't put the pussy on a pedestal" several times in movies and real life and I know not to treat them that way because you'll just fail if you do.

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