Is it normal that i like to hold back on a bowel movement

When i was a child a very long time ago. i was taken to the pediatrician because i was constipated. He stuck a gloved finger up my anus. i think it was the strongest sensation i had had in my life to date. When i got home i experimented and stuck a piece of chalk up my anus. i loved the sensation and did it several more times. over the years i experimented holding back having a bowel movement, because i loved the feeling of the pressure. However this had it's downside because there were accidents. in fact it led to my being discovered by my classmates. Well I suffered the humiliation for years.

I am now a mature male, happily hetero. But the urge to hold it has never left. So it evolved into a fetish. artificial poop. it started by inserting several bananas in my anus, and seeing how long i could hold it. The longer and the more bananas the better and when i can't hold it any longer it is almost orgasmic to finally release. Unless you have an industrial toilet i suggest fishing the bananas out of the toilet or it is almost guaranteed to stop up. I find that if i have had a particularly frustrating week, and i go through this ritual my tension and frustrations disappear. I eventually graduated to ripe plantains they are larger and easier to insert and create a greater urge to go. i sometimes hold it for hours.

Any thoughts out there?