Is it normal that i like older men

81% Normal
9 Comments

I’m almost 18 and I like men in their 30-50 s. I think I don’t have any daddy issues( me and my dad are doing just fine). I tried to date with boys at my age or just a little bit older than me but it didn’t worked out. Today I was with my friends and a men in his 40 s heard my name while the waitress called me and he said “ - my name- would you like to share my dessert” my heart went crazy and I was like a tomato, all flushed. Even if I see them walking down the street, I can’t stop thinking about them. And I don’t understand the reason behind it.

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 21 votes (17 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    It would take some in-depth, in-person discussion for someone to try to get to the root of your attraction to older guys. Lots of times the cause of attractions remains a mystery even after people go through that.

    Some guys are into big breasts, some into small breasts, some guys have a thing about legs, butts, or feet. Some guys only want to be with innocent little-girl types, while others are into mature, worldly-wise women. There may be some very early influences that shaped those preferences, but it might be just the way they're wired.

    You say you don't have "daddy issues", and that's great. Girls should grow up with fathers who love and respect them, they should grow up seeing their father treat their mother right, and they should have a positive relationship with their father when they reach adulthood. Maybe if you have a positive relationship with your father, you're attracted to guys like him. I'm not suggesting you subconsciously want to do the dirty with Dad, just that he's the type of man that appeals to you because of positive associations. And obviously (duh) he's significantly older than you, so that's a feature you find attractive.

    Or maybe you're simply attracted to guys who appear to have their shit sorted out. Not many 18 year-old guys do.

    I'd suggest you bear in mind that older men have a lot more life experience than you, and if a guy is a manipulative ass who uses women, he will have learned lots of tricks that you might not pick up on right away. Many (maybe most) men of the age group you find appealing would get a big kick out of being with a woman of your age, so I'm sure you wouldn't have any problems finding one for yourself, but you should always think about his motivations.

    I'm more than a decade outside your target group. I can still recognise the physical beauty of teenage girls (obviously), but I imagine that if I had got involved with someone your age when I was 50, it would mainly have been because of the physical aspects. There's a huge disparity in life-experience, and we probably wouldn't have had much in common. That's less of a problem at the lower end of the age range you find appealing, but still, there would be less common ground between you and a 30 year-old guy than there would be with someone your own age.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      First of all thank you for giving me an answer that includes helpful advices . When I’ve read the last part where you’ve talked about “having a common ground” I’ve realized that it’s true, there’ll be less common ground between me and a 30 or 40 year-old guy than there’ll be with someone at my age but you’ve made me realize that might be the reason why. I want to share my knowledge with them so they can add more to it and help me to learn more. I know that I can learn by myself but I want to discuss those things that I’ve learned. I hope it didn’t sound cocky. Well, again thanks a lot.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Boojum
        5 years ago

        My impression from your OP was that your attraction is mainly a sexual thing, but your reply makes me wonder if that's right.

        Wishing we could finding an older, wiser mentor to help us figure out life is pretty normal. Traditionally, when extended families remained in the same area, this role would be filled by grandparents or maybe uncles or aunts. But that's not possible for a lot of people growing up in Western societies these days.

        Just remember that the adage about there being no fool like an old fool is true. Some people go through life never really learning much about life, growing to understanding themselves better, or developing past the age you are now in emotional and intellectual terms. Wisdom doesn't always come with age.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Tato
    5 years ago

    Pretty normal.

    Perhaps the maturity and maybe clarity/reason they project attracts you, if you catch my drift. At least, that's what I find attractive at some older women.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • curious-bunny
    5 years ago

    I'm 20 my bf is 40. We have our probs born from the age gap but in the end older guys are just way better

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • justme31756
    5 years ago

    older has more money ???

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • WarriorGene
    5 years ago

    Hot

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • brutus
    5 years ago

    Sounds normal.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Sismmm
    5 years ago

    I'm older hit me up

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0