Aspergian's are more likely to feel the emotion, in their own way, but not show the expected response.
John Elder Robison articulates it perfectly in his book "Look Me In The Eye". I've loaned my copy out so I can't quote it, but the basics of it is, as a child he hears that his mothers friends child has died playing on railroad tracks. His response is to smile. He's then told off for being an evil child etc etc.
His reasoning behind his atypical response is his thought process between hearing the news and smiling: "Shit, that's bad. What an idiot for playing on the rail road. I'm not stupid enough to play on the rail road, I won't get killed like that. I'm safe. My parents and brother are safe. I'm really glad me and my family are safe." So he smiles out of relief that he and his family are safe.
This is paraphrased from my memory of reading it several times, a few years back.
Also, this may not neccessarily translate to all people with Asperger's, but it seems spot on with the people I've known.
It is still an inappropriate emotional response...a lack of empathy...the asperger immediately thought about themselves and not how the other person must feel which would have stopped that immediate thinking about themselves
Yes, it's an inappropriate response by 'normal' standards. However, it's not a lack of empathy, I don't think - there's the "Shit, that's bad" part of the response, and the thoughts for his family's wellbeing. It's delayed somewhat, and certainly not expressed how we expect it to be expressed, but I think it's still there.
One more thought: My family always described a cousin who has Asperger's to us this way when we were children: L can't control his impulses as well as we all can sometimes.
Robison writes about that, too - he says its like non-Aspergian's know exactly what is expected of them, socially (as it is a social disorder) and therefore react in a socially appropriate way (even though that may not be in line with how they ACTUALLY feel about the event) whereas Aspergian's don't have that same sort of filter. They "impulsively" (not really the right word, but a near enough substitute, feel free to correct me) act/show the way they actually feel, without thinking "Shit, this isn't how I'm meant to respond."
I had a friend who had a friend who had a base jumping accident recently. Now, my normal response to base jumping is "What a fucking stupid thing to do". Of course, when my friend tells me her friend is seriously injured, my response is "Oh my god, that's terrible? Is he going to be ok? What's the prognosis? How can I help?" I still think base jumping is an idiotic thing, but that gets pushed to the back. What's much more important is that a human has been hurt (he's doing really well now, which is a huge relief) and my concern is also for my friend and how she's doing handling the bad news. An Aspergian may well skip the emotional response (unless they've conditioned themselves to respond as such - which most do through learning the hard way) and just say, 'Huh...what an idiot" which doesn't necessarily mean they don't feel any empathy, but it certainly isn't shown (we can't know their thought processes - it may be there, it may be not), and is guaranteed to anger anyone hearing the response!
Is it normal that I lack any empathy for people?
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Aspergian's are more likely to feel the emotion, in their own way, but not show the expected response.
John Elder Robison articulates it perfectly in his book "Look Me In The Eye". I've loaned my copy out so I can't quote it, but the basics of it is, as a child he hears that his mothers friends child has died playing on railroad tracks. His response is to smile. He's then told off for being an evil child etc etc.
His reasoning behind his atypical response is his thought process between hearing the news and smiling: "Shit, that's bad. What an idiot for playing on the rail road. I'm not stupid enough to play on the rail road, I won't get killed like that. I'm safe. My parents and brother are safe. I'm really glad me and my family are safe." So he smiles out of relief that he and his family are safe.
This is paraphrased from my memory of reading it several times, a few years back.
Also, this may not neccessarily translate to all people with Asperger's, but it seems spot on with the people I've known.
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DavidS.
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It is still an inappropriate emotional response...a lack of empathy...the asperger immediately thought about themselves and not how the other person must feel which would have stopped that immediate thinking about themselves
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GinistrePupu
11 years ago
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charli.m
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I don't think about my self at all when it comes to situations like that. I honestly just do not feel anything for it. I don't care at all.
Yes, it's an inappropriate response by 'normal' standards. However, it's not a lack of empathy, I don't think - there's the "Shit, that's bad" part of the response, and the thoughts for his family's wellbeing. It's delayed somewhat, and certainly not expressed how we expect it to be expressed, but I think it's still there.
One more thought: My family always described a cousin who has Asperger's to us this way when we were children: L can't control his impulses as well as we all can sometimes.
Robison writes about that, too - he says its like non-Aspergian's know exactly what is expected of them, socially (as it is a social disorder) and therefore react in a socially appropriate way (even though that may not be in line with how they ACTUALLY feel about the event) whereas Aspergian's don't have that same sort of filter. They "impulsively" (not really the right word, but a near enough substitute, feel free to correct me) act/show the way they actually feel, without thinking "Shit, this isn't how I'm meant to respond."
I had a friend who had a friend who had a base jumping accident recently. Now, my normal response to base jumping is "What a fucking stupid thing to do". Of course, when my friend tells me her friend is seriously injured, my response is "Oh my god, that's terrible? Is he going to be ok? What's the prognosis? How can I help?" I still think base jumping is an idiotic thing, but that gets pushed to the back. What's much more important is that a human has been hurt (he's doing really well now, which is a huge relief) and my concern is also for my friend and how she's doing handling the bad news. An Aspergian may well skip the emotional response (unless they've conditioned themselves to respond as such - which most do through learning the hard way) and just say, 'Huh...what an idiot" which doesn't necessarily mean they don't feel any empathy, but it certainly isn't shown (we can't know their thought processes - it may be there, it may be not), and is guaranteed to anger anyone hearing the response!