Me too. :( I feel bad saying it, but I can't help it. Its true. I'm really shy, and I don't like opening up to people as quickly as others do. It takes me a while to open up, and I have to have the right setting for it. I can't have a lot of people around. Its usually gotta be me and that one person I'm opening up to alone. And I don't like feeling scrutinized either. Once I'm close to a person, then I can allow my walls to come down, but it takes a long time in getting to know them, because I have to feel they're trustworthy enough to know me.
I guess it makes me appear really awkward, and stupid at work. I even thought I heard someone say I was slow. That bothered me, because I'm really just shy, and I feel like I have to fake my personality there, because I have to work with so many people. Everybody there seems to think I'm this cheery, dumb, little girl. :/ But I generally like to keep to myself, and I'm not used to working with so many people.
Perfect example I'll share with you; is a guy who I dated from my job. He does the pot washing, while I work with the food and people. Well, when we dated, he told me that he always found me to be pretty, but that he almost didn't ask me out because he had the impression I was a total dumbass. When we went out to dinner, he said he couldn't believe how different I seemed. He said he was surprised by how much more focused I was, open, and smarter I seemed. We stopped dating, though. But not because of any of those reasons. I just didn't feel for him as strongly as before, and actually it was kind of always a nagging thought in my mind that he used to believe I was an idiot. If he passed judgement on me that quickly before even really getting to know me outside of work, then... :(.
Its ok if you're not exactly a people person. Its all about how comfortable you are. If you're not comfortable where you are, you won't be comfortable with those around you either. And sometimes I think I might not be comfortable with others, because I'm not completely comfortable with myself.
See the thing is that you are allowing yourself to look like a dumb ass. You need to relax. Instead, allow yourself to be yourself. Be a little more open and blunt with people. I know from experience, cause i use to act and think the same way. I didn't like it...So i changed my attitude. Became more confident. You shelter yourself from the world a little to much. Making your self look like a timid, shy, "dumb ass".. You know you're not any of those things, so why have people think you are? That's embarrassing. If you project yourself as a strong, independent, confident woman people like the from work will want to ask you out and try to get to know you on that one on one personal level... Have more fun. Discover who you are. Become one with yourself :) Don't forget to laugh. There is nothing better than having a good laugh at yourself. If someone is looking at you like your crazy to just be sitting there laughing, just flip them off and continue to laugh.
I agree. I wish I weren't such a nervous wreck all the time, and yeah, my life is kinda sheltered. But I kinda did it to myself. You're right. The only way for things to get better is if I change. No more of this timid, shy, 'dumb ass' little girl nonsense. :p And it is embarrassing hearing people muttering things about me that I know aren't true. Especially when its people that at one point you actually believed were decent.
Thanks for your response. I really appreciate that you cared enough to give me one! :)
No worries :) ... N don't forget..PEOPLE suck. They always have, and they always will. Be exactly who you are. If people don't like it...Just remember that they suck. ::)) and move on through your day with no worries.
Is it normal that I I have to put on an act?
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Me too. :( I feel bad saying it, but I can't help it. Its true. I'm really shy, and I don't like opening up to people as quickly as others do. It takes me a while to open up, and I have to have the right setting for it. I can't have a lot of people around. Its usually gotta be me and that one person I'm opening up to alone. And I don't like feeling scrutinized either. Once I'm close to a person, then I can allow my walls to come down, but it takes a long time in getting to know them, because I have to feel they're trustworthy enough to know me.
I guess it makes me appear really awkward, and stupid at work. I even thought I heard someone say I was slow. That bothered me, because I'm really just shy, and I feel like I have to fake my personality there, because I have to work with so many people. Everybody there seems to think I'm this cheery, dumb, little girl. :/ But I generally like to keep to myself, and I'm not used to working with so many people.
Perfect example I'll share with you; is a guy who I dated from my job. He does the pot washing, while I work with the food and people. Well, when we dated, he told me that he always found me to be pretty, but that he almost didn't ask me out because he had the impression I was a total dumbass. When we went out to dinner, he said he couldn't believe how different I seemed. He said he was surprised by how much more focused I was, open, and smarter I seemed. We stopped dating, though. But not because of any of those reasons. I just didn't feel for him as strongly as before, and actually it was kind of always a nagging thought in my mind that he used to believe I was an idiot. If he passed judgement on me that quickly before even really getting to know me outside of work, then... :(.
Its ok if you're not exactly a people person. Its all about how comfortable you are. If you're not comfortable where you are, you won't be comfortable with those around you either. And sometimes I think I might not be comfortable with others, because I'm not completely comfortable with myself.
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wasjusthinkin
11 years ago
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See the thing is that you are allowing yourself to look like a dumb ass. You need to relax. Instead, allow yourself to be yourself. Be a little more open and blunt with people. I know from experience, cause i use to act and think the same way. I didn't like it...So i changed my attitude. Became more confident. You shelter yourself from the world a little to much. Making your self look like a timid, shy, "dumb ass".. You know you're not any of those things, so why have people think you are? That's embarrassing. If you project yourself as a strong, independent, confident woman people like the from work will want to ask you out and try to get to know you on that one on one personal level... Have more fun. Discover who you are. Become one with yourself :) Don't forget to laugh. There is nothing better than having a good laugh at yourself. If someone is looking at you like your crazy to just be sitting there laughing, just flip them off and continue to laugh.
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Ldizzy1234
11 years ago
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I agree. I wish I weren't such a nervous wreck all the time, and yeah, my life is kinda sheltered. But I kinda did it to myself. You're right. The only way for things to get better is if I change. No more of this timid, shy, 'dumb ass' little girl nonsense. :p And it is embarrassing hearing people muttering things about me that I know aren't true. Especially when its people that at one point you actually believed were decent.
Thanks for your response. I really appreciate that you cared enough to give me one! :)
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wasjusthinkin
11 years ago
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No worries :) ... N don't forget..PEOPLE suck. They always have, and they always will. Be exactly who you are. If people don't like it...Just remember that they suck. ::)) and move on through your day with no worries.
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Ldizzy1234
11 years ago
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Oh yeah, there's no doubt about that! People do suck. Lol. And thanks again! :)