I've seen women with your problem before. You have some ideal in your head and are waiting for that ideal to be fulfilled. It doesn't always work that way. There are mental, emotional, and physical aspects. Sometimes the physical is needed before the emotional and mental. I once went out with a woman who said, "I think I like you now that we've had sex." I cracked up laughing, but the point is that physical arousal may be necessary for you to become emotionally and mentally attracted to someone.
My suggestion is to find an acquaintance who is experienced (or any older man 30+, you really need someone experienced), tell him you want to have sex right now. Then let him do as he will with you. Go with the flow. Listen to what you feel. Once you have learned to awaken your sexual feelings, it will be much easier to find a guy for a relationship.
IMPORTANT: Do not disregard the experience part. If you find some boy who doesn't know what he is doing, this will be all for naught and you will just be disappointed. It is better to find someone much older, even if married (gasp!) than to try this with a guy who doesn't know what he is doing.
IIN that I havent found a guy yet?
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I've seen women with your problem before. You have some ideal in your head and are waiting for that ideal to be fulfilled. It doesn't always work that way. There are mental, emotional, and physical aspects. Sometimes the physical is needed before the emotional and mental. I once went out with a woman who said, "I think I like you now that we've had sex." I cracked up laughing, but the point is that physical arousal may be necessary for you to become emotionally and mentally attracted to someone.
My suggestion is to find an acquaintance who is experienced (or any older man 30+, you really need someone experienced), tell him you want to have sex right now. Then let him do as he will with you. Go with the flow. Listen to what you feel. Once you have learned to awaken your sexual feelings, it will be much easier to find a guy for a relationship.
IMPORTANT: Do not disregard the experience part. If you find some boy who doesn't know what he is doing, this will be all for naught and you will just be disappointed. It is better to find someone much older, even if married (gasp!) than to try this with a guy who doesn't know what he is doing.