Having a child is not meant to be a lifeboat, or a conduit for you to have a cute little plaything to help you feel less empty. Meaning, you should never NEED to have a child - they are not there for you; you are there for them (even when you can't be or don't feel like it). That relationship is largely non-negotiable; exceptions in such a case are often found only when things have gone badly wrong. This lack of a child should not reduce you to tears at such a tender age - why should it? It's not too late for you. You haven't done the work of preparing to be a parent only to find that you cannot bare children. Meanwhile mind you, please do not be so naive as to believe that 'love' is all it will take. Those are the famous last words those who have failed before, and likely those who will after. Love is not just a cloud of sunshine, puppies, dandelions and warm, fuzzy feelings; love is WORK. What we call 'Love' as a feeling is simply what makes the work of loving possible.
How about your boyfriend - Is HE really ready to give up HIS life and HIS future for the sake of fostering his own fully-assembled human being? Is he ready to surrender his aspirations and dreams for the two of you? Does he even have any yet to throw away? Do you? Should you? Are you ready to ask these things of him so that you may simply attempt to fill some kind of void? Does HE even know what he's made of, or what either of you is in for? Have either of you yet adventured far enough to see and know your own limits? Parenthood is certainly a path to that end, but some might suggest that you owe it to your would-be child to realize those things before they arrive, lest you thrust upon them the unpredictable shenanigans that is another pair of young and not-fully-cooked adolescents who have decided to play mommy and daddy in a game of House.
Is it normal that I have these feelings?
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Having a child is not meant to be a lifeboat, or a conduit for you to have a cute little plaything to help you feel less empty. Meaning, you should never NEED to have a child - they are not there for you; you are there for them (even when you can't be or don't feel like it). That relationship is largely non-negotiable; exceptions in such a case are often found only when things have gone badly wrong. This lack of a child should not reduce you to tears at such a tender age - why should it? It's not too late for you. You haven't done the work of preparing to be a parent only to find that you cannot bare children. Meanwhile mind you, please do not be so naive as to believe that 'love' is all it will take. Those are the famous last words those who have failed before, and likely those who will after. Love is not just a cloud of sunshine, puppies, dandelions and warm, fuzzy feelings; love is WORK. What we call 'Love' as a feeling is simply what makes the work of loving possible.
How about your boyfriend - Is HE really ready to give up HIS life and HIS future for the sake of fostering his own fully-assembled human being? Is he ready to surrender his aspirations and dreams for the two of you? Does he even have any yet to throw away? Do you? Should you? Are you ready to ask these things of him so that you may simply attempt to fill some kind of void? Does HE even know what he's made of, or what either of you is in for? Have either of you yet adventured far enough to see and know your own limits? Parenthood is certainly a path to that end, but some might suggest that you owe it to your would-be child to realize those things before they arrive, lest you thrust upon them the unpredictable shenanigans that is another pair of young and not-fully-cooked adolescents who have decided to play mommy and daddy in a game of House.