I find it strange how quickly and easily people write-off fear as par for the course while @ the same time ignoring it, rather than yielding to that instinct - they aren't always wrong, you know.
If I'm honest... this sounds like a happy little girl playing hopscotch out in the yard, conveniently musing only about the easy stuff, the obvious bits: How much you want one; how much you'll love it; how much joy it could bring you; how cute it will be (mind you, these are all factors have entirely to do with YOU; parenthood cannot be a selfish enterprise). And then maybe more practical stuff such as who watches them when you can't or are unable to because your school or job requires your time and energy elsewhere (perhaps the 1st red flag - as your Mother is NOT a default babysitter for someone who claims they are truly 'ready'). Meanwhile you're still in college, which suggests that you haven't necessarily secured for yourself your own life which can grow sufficiently enough to support a growing child (What's the insurance like @ your current job? Any? How comprehensive? What if your job stops being your job? And school falls through? How much student debt are you in for? Do you make enough to cover the costs of college, your child, and the result that is those lives combined? And as your bf is just a 'bf,' he is an X-factor in this scheme, and should be treated as such in your projections - meaning, will this plan of yours fall apart if he is not there, or if any other piece fails to fall into place? Are you just as ready on your own? What happens if/when your safety net falls away? You are young, so no doubt you parents have you covered on their insurance, but what of it then when that goes away (perhaps sooner than you know)? Is your career intact, secured and ready to proceed presently at only 18, an age when very few have a worthwhile degree/possiblities/opportunites before them, unless they're some case of prodigy? Is your plan reliant on everything going the way you said? Do you know what to do if your 'plan' hiccups, backfires or fails (and trust in the nature of the world and life, it WILL eventually - that is the point)? Do you even know what you are made of?
Is it normal that I have these feelings?
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I find it strange how quickly and easily people write-off fear as par for the course while @ the same time ignoring it, rather than yielding to that instinct - they aren't always wrong, you know.
If I'm honest... this sounds like a happy little girl playing hopscotch out in the yard, conveniently musing only about the easy stuff, the obvious bits: How much you want one; how much you'll love it; how much joy it could bring you; how cute it will be (mind you, these are all factors have entirely to do with YOU; parenthood cannot be a selfish enterprise). And then maybe more practical stuff such as who watches them when you can't or are unable to because your school or job requires your time and energy elsewhere (perhaps the 1st red flag - as your Mother is NOT a default babysitter for someone who claims they are truly 'ready'). Meanwhile you're still in college, which suggests that you haven't necessarily secured for yourself your own life which can grow sufficiently enough to support a growing child (What's the insurance like @ your current job? Any? How comprehensive? What if your job stops being your job? And school falls through? How much student debt are you in for? Do you make enough to cover the costs of college, your child, and the result that is those lives combined? And as your bf is just a 'bf,' he is an X-factor in this scheme, and should be treated as such in your projections - meaning, will this plan of yours fall apart if he is not there, or if any other piece fails to fall into place? Are you just as ready on your own? What happens if/when your safety net falls away? You are young, so no doubt you parents have you covered on their insurance, but what of it then when that goes away (perhaps sooner than you know)? Is your career intact, secured and ready to proceed presently at only 18, an age when very few have a worthwhile degree/possiblities/opportunites before them, unless they're some case of prodigy? Is your plan reliant on everything going the way you said? Do you know what to do if your 'plan' hiccups, backfires or fails (and trust in the nature of the world and life, it WILL eventually - that is the point)? Do you even know what you are made of?