Is it normal that i have the urge to disappear

Sometimes I get lost in thought and I feel sick knowing that I have a record (I'm referring to random things I've done on the internet, not referring to criminal records) or that people know me for certain things. The urge to clear all records and fake my death is getting a little too much for my comfort. I don't like that my information is out there. I want to be anonymous, gone. I just want to die sometimes. I want to start over. My life was messy, not clean. I need to start again. I don't like how it feels having those pictures of me as a kid, where I would awkwardly smile (I had a terrible smile), and just the way i would talk, my voice, the sound of it haunts me. I hate hearing it. I only find solace in my voice when others who are honest assure me it's fine. My voice id described as beautiful, and I can sing well too. I think I just need to remember what I worked o, like my voice, and ignore people like my sister who just wants me to see the awful things in me. I just want to end it and start over, as someone else. The only problem is losing my progress, and losing my family and loved ones. I just don't know. Please help me.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 7 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I used to have a similar situation where I wanted to leave without a trace. By you disappearing you'll leave the people who care and love you the most.

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  • I want you to get help ASAP.

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  • I’ve been there too. I’ve got skeletons in my closet that I’d love if they weren’t there. I’d love nothing more than to start over in a completely new place, with a new name and a new life. But you can’t run away from your past. As much as I’d love to, I know; no matter where I end up, I’ll always be running. Unfortunately, there is no way to completely start over. If there was, I would’ve don’t it already.

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    • But I dont really have those skeletons. I just want to start over.

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      • But only you can make those changes and lead the life you want. If there’s nothing to hinder you in doing so, then there’s no reason you can’t achieve it.

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      • There has to be a basic reason for wanting to start over. To just want to start over because you’re just unhappy with the life you’ve been dealt, well there’s no need. If you have no need to start over then you can just change the life you have and make it better.

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  • If you vote, please comment. I need more input.

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