Is it normal that i have the urge to disappear
Sometimes I get lost in thought and I feel sick knowing that I have a record (I'm referring to random things I've done on the internet, not referring to criminal records) or that people know me for certain things. The urge to clear all records and fake my death is getting a little too much for my comfort. I don't like that my information is out there. I want to be anonymous, gone. I just want to die sometimes. I want to start over. My life was messy, not clean. I need to start again. I don't like how it feels having those pictures of me as a kid, where I would awkwardly smile (I had a terrible smile), and just the way i would talk, my voice, the sound of it haunts me. I hate hearing it. I only find solace in my voice when others who are honest assure me it's fine. My voice id described as beautiful, and I can sing well too. I think I just need to remember what I worked o, like my voice, and ignore people like my sister who just wants me to see the awful things in me. I just want to end it and start over, as someone else. The only problem is losing my progress, and losing my family and loved ones. I just don't know. Please help me.