I'm cool with that, not having a relationship is just one segment of life, i can cope with it.
And no, i found dozens of women attractive ( which didn't find me attractive ), and more or less a dozen of women found me attractive ( which I didn't find attractive ), so, the vicious circle never ends.
Try just making friends with a gal and see where that goes. Over a lifetime our tastes in many things change.
I'm with a woman now that is not at all my 'type' physically, but it's by far the best relationship I've ever been in. For the first time, I was friends with a woman before the physical relationship began.
I found that it's much easier to love someone you like, than like someone who's physical appearance is the only thing you are attracted to.
So, what you're saying here is that I should lower my expectations and lean more on the girls inside, rather than the outside ? I've been friends with like a dozen of girls, but, the thing is, I have to like what I'm looking at. I'm really outgoing etc, but that's whats holding me down.
I don't want to do the "She has this, but she hasn't got this" thing and make a compromise. I just want to like her from the moment i saw her, not develop feelings overtime ( which happened, but not to the point that I wanted to make a move on her, my high expectations held me down ).
I'm not getting desperate to find a girl, but it just feels like there's something missing in my life. I'm afraid of that feeling getting worse.
My take on this is that you're not lowering your expectations, you're gonna realise that your "expectations" are likely impossible to fulfill because they're built on the idea of a woman rather than what she honestly is.
Realising that your expectations aren't likely to ever be fulfilled is not the same as "accepting average". Do you only work with averages and extremes?
What I'm saying is that sooner or later you'll realise that you fell in love with who you thought she was. Once you come to terms with that, you'll be free of this cage you've built yourself.
Oh and OP, if you want to respond to the Sailor, at least reply to him - not me. He's not gonna get notified if you just @ his username.
If you find a girl who you 'like what I'm looking at' and get together, do you think she'll still look the same after 20 years?
I know it's a trite saying, but it really is what's on the inside that matters.
IIN that I have the same crush for over 3 years?
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I'm cool with that, not having a relationship is just one segment of life, i can cope with it.
And no, i found dozens of women attractive ( which didn't find me attractive ), and more or less a dozen of women found me attractive ( which I didn't find attractive ), so, the vicious circle never ends.
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thegypsysailor
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Try just making friends with a gal and see where that goes. Over a lifetime our tastes in many things change.
I'm with a woman now that is not at all my 'type' physically, but it's by far the best relationship I've ever been in. For the first time, I was friends with a woman before the physical relationship began.
I found that it's much easier to love someone you like, than like someone who's physical appearance is the only thing you are attracted to.
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Anonymous Post Author
7 years ago
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So, what you're saying here is that I should lower my expectations and lean more on the girls inside, rather than the outside ? I've been friends with like a dozen of girls, but, the thing is, I have to like what I'm looking at. I'm really outgoing etc, but that's whats holding me down.
I don't want to do the "She has this, but she hasn't got this" thing and make a compromise. I just want to like her from the moment i saw her, not develop feelings overtime ( which happened, but not to the point that I wanted to make a move on her, my high expectations held me down ).
I'm not getting desperate to find a girl, but it just feels like there's something missing in my life. I'm afraid of that feeling getting worse.
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Crow
7 years ago
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thegypsysailor
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My take on this is that you're not lowering your expectations, you're gonna realise that your "expectations" are likely impossible to fulfill because they're built on the idea of a woman rather than what she honestly is.
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So, what you two are saying is accept average ?
@thegypsysailor Humans are firstly attracted to appearance, and after that comes personality. Not the other way around.
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Crow
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No.
Realising that your expectations aren't likely to ever be fulfilled is not the same as "accepting average". Do you only work with averages and extremes?
What I'm saying is that sooner or later you'll realise that you fell in love with who you thought she was. Once you come to terms with that, you'll be free of this cage you've built yourself.
Oh and OP, if you want to respond to the Sailor, at least reply to him - not me. He's not gonna get notified if you just @ his username.
If you find a girl who you 'like what I'm looking at' and get together, do you think she'll still look the same after 20 years?
I know it's a trite saying, but it really is what's on the inside that matters.