Is it normal that i have never had a hallucination but am scared i will?

I’m 20 years old and in the military. I’ve always been very anti social. I’ve never had any real friends and the few that I’ve had I’ve lost. Either by just losing touch after moving for the military right after high school or getting ‘dumped’ because I can’t hold a conversation about anything that isn’t movie or music related. I’ve never had a hallucination that I know of, yet I’m constantly paranoid that one day I will. I have on idea where his fear came from but it’s starting to heavily negatively affect my life. I leave for deployment in a couple of months. I want to see a therapist but for some reason I can’t seem to do it. I also have a horrible memory. I once had to take a shower after every time I pooped for about 6 months because I couldn’t remember to buy toilet paper. I also couldn’t remember to buy a toothbrush for a few months (multiple times) which leads me to not take care of my teeth for long periods of a time. Not that I remember to do it with a toothbrush anyways. I have no idea why I can’t just be like everyone else but I’m constantly depressed and anxious and scared of something that has never happened and honestly probably never will. Obviously I know this isn’t normal but I can’t talk to anyone I know about this for obvious reasons so I’m resorting to this. Because I can’t seem to find myself in a therapist chair... not that that would probably help anyway.

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67% Normal
Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • dimwitted

    Talk to a pro.

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  • I have had flash backs, its not so much that you hallucinate back to the event if caused by ptsd. What I mean is, if you fought in a war and seen many people die, or watched a road side bomb blow people apart and you have flash backs because of this, its not so visual as tv or movies make it out to be, like you don't actually see clearly bombs going off just like staring at your computer. Its hard to explain, its like being back there, you sense that doom, you feel its happening or about to happen again, you don't necessarily see guns and bombs, you may imagine (different from hallucinating) sirens going off or a gun shot but no, you don't really hallucinate.

    I have watched people take hallucinogenic drugs to get visuals. I myself don't understand it, I would not like it at all. Lol, I get vertigo and I start to panic.

    Dude forgetting toilet paper or a tooth brush even for that long is that uncommon, do it myself. keep a need to buy list on ya fridge.

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  • leggs91200

    Some who are in serious battles could have flashbacks.
    Honestly, however long you have to go in the military, finish your tenure and then get out. Do not re-up.

    The only other ways are if you ever take serious drugs or when you get old and senile. Of course it will be another 60 years before you have to worry about dementia. However, that is so far away that those who will be taking care of you at that point probably haven't even been born yet and won't be for some time. That is how far away it is.

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