Is it normal that i have disturbing what-if scenarios i can't control?

4 Comments

This started a few days ago, but has happened on and off my entire life.

I sometimes have bizarre and disturbing what-if scenarios that play out in my head. I.E, I'm at a friend's house, and I think, "What if I smothered him with a pillow and he died?" And I play through the scenario in my head, him dying, and the finality of it all, and his parents' reaction, and how horrible my life would be.

It's NOT a desire or an urge to murder or do these things. It's just a compulsive thought that makes me genuinely wonder, and it's extremely disturbing. It freaks me out, actually. It scares me. And I want it to stop. But like I said, it's weirdly compulsive. Just to "see what it's like." I'm afraid I'm going mad.

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  • iEatZombies_
    11 years ago | pl

    You aren't going to hurt someone just because you imagine it.
    It sounds as though you're repulsed by the idea of it.
    You probably have anxiety. Could also be OCD, which is a form of anxiety.

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  • clinger
    11 years ago | pl

    At times we all have dark thoughts that make us feel uncomfortable but as TerryVie said... "people abort it and come back to reality". My best friend had very similar thoughts 12 months ago about his young niece (who he adores by the way) and it genuinely nearly drove him to suicide as he was afraid he'd actually carry out his Walter Mitty daydream/nightmare. The fact that you've gone to the bother of posting it signifies you are genuinely worried about this and are still very much in the real world. Unfortunately, there's a thin line between the real world and snapping. Like I told my friend, I also suggest you take a trip to a counsellor and get the whole thing clarified. He seems to be fine now whatever magic they said to him. He's never told me what goes on there but I often wonder was it supressed anger or stress as he'd lost his job around the same time. Not sure if it's relevant but he also has OCD for what it's worth. I'm far from being a mental health expert but have you had any major stressful situations going on when these thoughts kick in? It could be supressed anger or stress maybe? Not sure if I've been of any help or not but for you're own sake, get this sorted - Professionally!
    And you're not going mad. That grey blob in our heads is a complex and delicate piece of wiring that needs looking after. Best you get someone qualified to take care of it rather than anonymous names online ;-)

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  • myownopinions
    11 years ago | pl

    As long as you don't act on it, everything should be fine.

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  • DolphinAngel
    11 years ago | pl

    Lol I have those scenarios close to every day and most of the time it's fun =P

    There is no problem with it unless you can't deal with having those...

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