Is it normal that i have a great life but struggle to find happiness?

74% Normal
7 Comments

Ok, obviously I know this is semi-normal. Here's my story. I have a great family who pay for me to attend a wonderful university, helped me buy a ride, and all that. I was born good enough looking and all that. From the outside I really have nothing to complain about...but I suffer almost daily.

Having all these great financial gifts have come with a price...I basically am a full time parent during the summer for my sister. My father went to a party school and in my own mind I mock that school because I have been raised to be such a stickler - an old man. My sister and I question my Mom as to why she needs to work, but she doesn't listen and tells us what she didn't have as a child. At this point in life, now as a young adult, who missed out on his teen years, wishes I didn't have any of it.

Now I am at a point in life where I don't know what I want. I am an adult, I think like an adult, but I just wanna be a kid like everyone else around me. Because I was shackled down as a kid I didn't develop skills..so I don't even know how to really interest girls. Basically, I have nothing to live for at this point in life. Few hobbies, little personal money for those I have in college, and a lack of opportunity. It's sad that I am at my prime age as many would say and have nothing to live for other than a possible career in the future that I find a life altering passion for...

I am hoping someone can relate or provide some kind of advice because I am lost and looking to those close to me has done nothing but make matters worse.

Is It Normal?
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  • confusedteen33
    12 years ago | pl

    There is some great advice there, but I disapprove of some of the rude statements made in your comment. I never asked for your sympathy and don't try to belittle me by telling me I am selfish when it's your mother in that context who was selfish. If she had no money, why so many children? It's her responsibility to say to herself hey I'm never going to be financially well off and it wouldn't be fair to possible future children to put them in a home which cannot provide for them.

    I have done much service - built homes, fed the homeless, run children camps. I need something different than service.

    And lastly - you state that my mom is trying to go out and get a life before its too late. I understand that, but then I see it as she didn't know what she wanted either, because everything is out of order. Because if she really wanted kids or that life, she would have stayed with it instead of putting it on me. Obviously I'm not selfish though if I stay with my sister daily on my own decision. I'm not trying to sound full of myself _ but I'm a very unselfish person. I don't ask for anything these days, just to live my own life and have the opportunity to do what I want to do. Seems like a universal right to me..not a privilege?

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    • joybird
      12 years ago | pl

      Your original post says you have no skills and don't know what you want to do. Now you tell us you've built homes, run kids camps, etc so you should have social skills - but have no opportunities. Make up your mind.

      I think your real problem is that you may not know what you actually want to do, but you've certainly learnt from your life so far, what you DON'T want to do. By minding your sister you haven't become a teenage father :o) and probably have no intentions of becoming a father any time soon. Very valuable experience - I was 32 before I got pregnant!!!

      I really hate to tell you this but ... life is all about service. You may have to please a boss in a job, or if you run your own business you've to oblige clients, if you own a home you've to maintain it, etc etc etc. Yep! It's a drag!

      As an older mom, I think your mom expects you to mind you sister to show your gratitude for all the financial help at university. Maybe if you add up what they gave you and divide it per hour you would feel happier. If not, tell your mum (you've made a new decision) you need some space and if she won't get some proper child-minding for your sister you're going to get a proper job so that you can move out. /s\

      To address some of your point:-
      Hindsight is truly a wonderful thing!
      My mom had no money COZ she'd so many of us!
      No contraception allowed due to religion.
      She discovered that though she enjoys one child at a time she hates more than one.

      Your mom discovered that children are mind-numbing and ungrateful so decided it wasn't worth dedicating her whole life to you and your sister. (Harsh but true.)

      You did make me laugh out loud when I read,
      "I don't ask for anything these days, just to live my own life and have the opportunity to do what I want to do. Seems like a universal right to me..not a privilege?"

      So you don't ask, you just expect... to live in a house, have food available, have utilities, and not to contribute towards the cost of any of these things!! So yes, I think you're selfish - but that's perfectly normal until you take on adult responsibilities. In a few years you can look back and laugh at your naivety regarding universal rights. hahahahaha :O)) You are so far wrong son!!! Go and talk that one out with some adults!! Think of the wider world now, not just yourself!

      As for wanting a relationship with girls... avoid them like the plague! Look at the trouble they have caused you to date; your mom, your sister, me - deal with women only when you really must!

      Anyhow, now you have something to live for. If only, to come back and argue with me.

      Good luck son. Try your best to find something that truly interests you!

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  • YumInsanity
    12 years ago | pl

    that person above me is stupid and boring, dont listen to anything it said. do lots of drugs and join a rock band, its the only way for people like us to be happy

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  • littlemissgiggles
    12 years ago | pl

    ^great advice...right there

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  • joybird
    12 years ago | pl

    Pull yourself together!

    If you don't see the answers in those close to you then read some self-help books or read up on stuff that interests you or might help to prepare you for the big wide world.

    I have no sympathy for you as we had no money, I'd a hateful mom and never left the house without my 4 younger siblings (and their friends) in tow! So spending time with one sister would be no hardship to me. I was glad to get out away from the chores created by a large family. You've missed the point that your mom doesn't really go to work for the money, she goes out to try to get herself a life before it's too late. She has already let you go free and expects you to make your own way in life.

    Why don't you get involved in your community? go out and mow lawns for the elderly, do shopping, walk dogs, do voluntary work, feed the homeless, etc. It will help you to get a perspective on your life and make you less selfish as a person.

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  • ElDorado
    12 years ago | pl

    i am the same way bro, people say i act like an old person. my friends always say im spoiled. and with the girls i dont even kno how i attract them either it just happens. my advice to you is that you cant spend time dwelling in the past you gotta take action today. "Make the rest of your life the best of your life".

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