I do wonder if its almost a symbolic enactment of union with 'God' (I use God rather metaphorically). The burning up of the physical self, and the loss of the ego, to find the untouchable core.
I am fascinated... hence the theorising. ;) And there is something about it I find alluring too, although trying to analyse what, heh.
How do you think you would feel if the fire got out of control and seriously started to burn you? Would fear/survival kick in to the max? Or would part of you be tempted to allow it? Indeed, does part of you wish for it? Is there an element of redemption in it?
Wow, your theory is pretty accurate, i'd say. It does have to do with loss of physical self, ego, and detachment. It takes me to a place where I'm one with the element of fire.
The thing is though, fire is so powerfully moving to me that while ultimately in the end it is about symbolically giving up my physical self for one or several of many reasons, the journey to that detachment does move me in itself, through such a range of feelings, emotions, and states of being. I also feel that when I do it for someone else, it's really saying something more than words ever could.
As for the allure, it calls me to it, begs to play with me, and embraces me fully and passionately, more fully and passionately than I've ever had from a woman. I do feel that when a woman sets me on fire though, that's her fire she's giving me to embrace as if she became that fire and surrounded me.
I've more than thought about how it would be for it to get out of control, and that's another part I enjoy, the loss or lack of control. I appreciate not being in control, in life I'm a leader, teacher, organizer, and I always end up in that role in group settings like work, hiking and camping, and in life in general. when it comes to lead, follow, or get out of the way, I stand aside and allow others to assume leadership, but it always seems to come back to me. I'd rather get out of the way and lead by example. I'm effective at keeping order and control in my life, and when things get out of control, it's fun and exciting. So, if things got out of control i'd enjoy it, and i'd enjoy the burns I get too, but i'd listen to reason and regain control if possible. If reason dictated that it was my fate to die in a fire, i'd gladly accept it and be thankful that i'd get to have that experience.
I do want to experience really burning to death, but I'm not willing to die just to feel that.
And as for true fear, i'd like to find out if I'm capable of feeling the kind of terror that burning to death would be. My survival instinct would kick in, but I still don't believe i'd really feel the fear I wish I could. I'd probably either succeed in calmly putting myself out before I got to fear, or realizing there is no chance of survival, and accepting the flames fully, enjoying it all, and indulging in it.
This doesn't mean I want to die, only that when I do have to go, I really wish I could spend my final moments in such a wonderful way. I want to live to be 90 and still playing with fire.
I oftentimes feel a temptation to go 'all the way', to just let the fire have me, partly, because then i'd really be giving myself to fire, as fire has given me some of the most meaningful experiences of my existence. I owe fire my physical body when I'm done with it.
I'm not so sure about an element of redemption, but I can say that I do experince divinity, walking the path of fire, I touch the hand of god. It's a spiritual gateway to the realm of the divine, and can be described as an act of faith, devotion, and the offering of a prayer. I don't consider myself to be of any religious group, as I live by the teachings of all the great masters whose knowldge survives. I don't believe in a god though, or a goddess, but that god is the collective oneness, so when I say I touch the hand of god, it's a metaphor for being one with all that is one anyways.
The fetish is only a part of the whole fire expereince, but as far as my sexuality goes, it's my main focus, I do like a lot of other things that people have fetishes for, but fire is so far and beyond all else that most everything else is mildly arousing at best.
Thanks for taking me seriously, most people think I'm a troll or I'm full of crap, and it's frustrating as all hell when it's nearly impossible to have a conversation like this about it, it feels good to talk about, as I end up learning a lot about myself in doing so, thank you.
Feel free to ask whatever you want, I'll answer as best I can.
I'm taking some time to process/think about the things you just said... its also stirred up some interesting self-insights. Part of me really understands it, and thats surprising me. I'm also finding some interesting parallels. Fear, especially extreme fear is also a transcendental experience for me.
The odd thing is that when it comes to my own fetish, I'm not so much watching men in a voyeuristic way, as I am intensely empathising with them. I'm actually feeling the fear with them (complete with some very intense physical reactions).
The reason I watch men in fear instead of just directly experiencing fear myself is because I feel one step further removed from 'God' as a female (thanks to religious brain-washing as a child). I no longer seriously believe that (nor believe in a biblical God anymore), but shame sticks.
Men just seem to me to be purer, more 'divine' creatures (however irrational I know that is), and so by empathising with their terror, I reach greater levels of transcendance (it bypasses the feelings of female 'unworthiness').
I definitely want to hear more from you, as soon as I finish processing. :)
I understand what you're saying, brainwashing is insidious.
Men as divine and closer to god? Most that I know are arrogant, shallow, egotistical pigs, with no patience dedication, or self control but then again, they're not real men anyways in my opinion, just bickering little boys that never grew up and assumed any responsibility for the effects of their actions.
Unfortunately women are still subservient to men in the world, sadly, and it personally ends up affecting my relationships with women, which are actually very rare, because I want a friend, lover,and equal human, not a slave to impose my will upon. It seems most women, consciously or not, have a sort of slave mentality.
'Men' have been basically keeping women as sex slaves for most of history, with sex and 'love' used as a weapon against them. It makes me feel kind of guilty by association, and that makes it hard for me to be 'manly' as far as my dealings with women. It seems like the 'proper' social thing is to treat women as objects and collect them like trophies, which is just sick to me, and I can't bring myself to force or impose my will upon a woman as is what it seems most women expect, to a fault. I can't be comfortable with doing that, it's a lie and nothing is equal in that relationship. I'd rather be painfully lonely than with a woman who expects sexual inequality, or anything but her own personal freedom. She has to love herself and love life, and be strong enough not to need her will or beleifs stifled or changed by my insistence ore demands.
And all that seems to be incomatible with being successful in a realtionship, so I've been alone for most of my life.
To me, women are the divine ones, women create life from the man's seed, and all a man can do is point, squirt, and watch a real mircale as the goddess creates another world and fills it with life.
The biblical stoy of creation is a metaphor for it, the creation of the world, and it's being populated, is a metpahor for the growing awareness and physical body in the womb. And there was light, the birth, the putting of man on earth in the garden that men paved over and nuked, and on the seventh day she rested.
the creator of all things is woman, creation is the formation of awareness, and a man's seed is a request prayer to the goddess to create, in that man's honor or shame, depending on if he's an honorable or a shameful man.
You can yahoo message me if you want at engulfedinflames at rocketmail dot com.
Is it normal that I have a fetish for seeing men terrified?
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I do wonder if its almost a symbolic enactment of union with 'God' (I use God rather metaphorically). The burning up of the physical self, and the loss of the ego, to find the untouchable core.
I am fascinated... hence the theorising. ;) And there is something about it I find alluring too, although trying to analyse what, heh.
How do you think you would feel if the fire got out of control and seriously started to burn you? Would fear/survival kick in to the max? Or would part of you be tempted to allow it? Indeed, does part of you wish for it? Is there an element of redemption in it?
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Wow, your theory is pretty accurate, i'd say. It does have to do with loss of physical self, ego, and detachment. It takes me to a place where I'm one with the element of fire.
The thing is though, fire is so powerfully moving to me that while ultimately in the end it is about symbolically giving up my physical self for one or several of many reasons, the journey to that detachment does move me in itself, through such a range of feelings, emotions, and states of being. I also feel that when I do it for someone else, it's really saying something more than words ever could.
As for the allure, it calls me to it, begs to play with me, and embraces me fully and passionately, more fully and passionately than I've ever had from a woman. I do feel that when a woman sets me on fire though, that's her fire she's giving me to embrace as if she became that fire and surrounded me.
I've more than thought about how it would be for it to get out of control, and that's another part I enjoy, the loss or lack of control. I appreciate not being in control, in life I'm a leader, teacher, organizer, and I always end up in that role in group settings like work, hiking and camping, and in life in general. when it comes to lead, follow, or get out of the way, I stand aside and allow others to assume leadership, but it always seems to come back to me. I'd rather get out of the way and lead by example. I'm effective at keeping order and control in my life, and when things get out of control, it's fun and exciting. So, if things got out of control i'd enjoy it, and i'd enjoy the burns I get too, but i'd listen to reason and regain control if possible. If reason dictated that it was my fate to die in a fire, i'd gladly accept it and be thankful that i'd get to have that experience.
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I do want to experience really burning to death, but I'm not willing to die just to feel that.
And as for true fear, i'd like to find out if I'm capable of feeling the kind of terror that burning to death would be. My survival instinct would kick in, but I still don't believe i'd really feel the fear I wish I could. I'd probably either succeed in calmly putting myself out before I got to fear, or realizing there is no chance of survival, and accepting the flames fully, enjoying it all, and indulging in it.
This doesn't mean I want to die, only that when I do have to go, I really wish I could spend my final moments in such a wonderful way. I want to live to be 90 and still playing with fire.
I oftentimes feel a temptation to go 'all the way', to just let the fire have me, partly, because then i'd really be giving myself to fire, as fire has given me some of the most meaningful experiences of my existence. I owe fire my physical body when I'm done with it.
I'm not so sure about an element of redemption, but I can say that I do experince divinity, walking the path of fire, I touch the hand of god. It's a spiritual gateway to the realm of the divine, and can be described as an act of faith, devotion, and the offering of a prayer. I don't consider myself to be of any religious group, as I live by the teachings of all the great masters whose knowldge survives. I don't believe in a god though, or a goddess, but that god is the collective oneness, so when I say I touch the hand of god, it's a metaphor for being one with all that is one anyways.
The fetish is only a part of the whole fire expereince, but as far as my sexuality goes, it's my main focus, I do like a lot of other things that people have fetishes for, but fire is so far and beyond all else that most everything else is mildly arousing at best.
Thanks for taking me seriously, most people think I'm a troll or I'm full of crap, and it's frustrating as all hell when it's nearly impossible to have a conversation like this about it, it feels good to talk about, as I end up learning a lot about myself in doing so, thank you.
Feel free to ask whatever you want, I'll answer as best I can.
--
amigoing
11 years ago
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I'm taking some time to process/think about the things you just said... its also stirred up some interesting self-insights. Part of me really understands it, and thats surprising me. I'm also finding some interesting parallels. Fear, especially extreme fear is also a transcendental experience for me.
The odd thing is that when it comes to my own fetish, I'm not so much watching men in a voyeuristic way, as I am intensely empathising with them. I'm actually feeling the fear with them (complete with some very intense physical reactions).
The reason I watch men in fear instead of just directly experiencing fear myself is because I feel one step further removed from 'God' as a female (thanks to religious brain-washing as a child). I no longer seriously believe that (nor believe in a biblical God anymore), but shame sticks.
Men just seem to me to be purer, more 'divine' creatures (however irrational I know that is), and so by empathising with their terror, I reach greater levels of transcendance (it bypasses the feelings of female 'unworthiness').
I definitely want to hear more from you, as soon as I finish processing. :)
--
infinite
11 years ago
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I understand what you're saying, brainwashing is insidious.
Men as divine and closer to god? Most that I know are arrogant, shallow, egotistical pigs, with no patience dedication, or self control but then again, they're not real men anyways in my opinion, just bickering little boys that never grew up and assumed any responsibility for the effects of their actions.
Unfortunately women are still subservient to men in the world, sadly, and it personally ends up affecting my relationships with women, which are actually very rare, because I want a friend, lover,and equal human, not a slave to impose my will upon. It seems most women, consciously or not, have a sort of slave mentality.
'Men' have been basically keeping women as sex slaves for most of history, with sex and 'love' used as a weapon against them. It makes me feel kind of guilty by association, and that makes it hard for me to be 'manly' as far as my dealings with women. It seems like the 'proper' social thing is to treat women as objects and collect them like trophies, which is just sick to me, and I can't bring myself to force or impose my will upon a woman as is what it seems most women expect, to a fault. I can't be comfortable with doing that, it's a lie and nothing is equal in that relationship. I'd rather be painfully lonely than with a woman who expects sexual inequality, or anything but her own personal freedom. She has to love herself and love life, and be strong enough not to need her will or beleifs stifled or changed by my insistence ore demands.
And all that seems to be incomatible with being successful in a realtionship, so I've been alone for most of my life.
To me, women are the divine ones, women create life from the man's seed, and all a man can do is point, squirt, and watch a real mircale as the goddess creates another world and fills it with life.
The biblical stoy of creation is a metaphor for it, the creation of the world, and it's being populated, is a metpahor for the growing awareness and physical body in the womb. And there was light, the birth, the putting of man on earth in the garden that men paved over and nuked, and on the seventh day she rested.
the creator of all things is woman, creation is the formation of awareness, and a man's seed is a request prayer to the goddess to create, in that man's honor or shame, depending on if he's an honorable or a shameful man.
You can yahoo message me if you want at engulfedinflames at rocketmail dot com.