First of all, you can't tell how somebody got fat by looking at them. You can't tell if it's a medical condition, medication, depression, compulsive overeating disorder, or lifestyle. How do you decide whether to respect somebody? Do you interview every fat person you meet about their medical history and mental health, or do you just assume?
It sounds like you think that if somebody is fat because of their lifestyle, it's because they've chosen to be fat. You're mistaken. Except in a few rare choices, people don't choose to be fat. They make choices that lead to being fat, but that's very different in practice. It's extremely difficult for many people to lose weight, and if people want or need to prioritise other parts of their lives over weight loss, that's their decision. Also, even modest weight loss can be extremely beneficial to morbidly obese people, which means that some of the people you think are throwing their health away may have already worked to significantly decrease their health risks.
It's normal to be concerned about people close to you who are unhealthy, but I think you should re-examine your feelings. Are you upset about obesity just because you're concerned, or are you upset because of the stigma and moral judgements our culture attaches to obesity? It sounds like the latter, to me. You can't tell how healthy or unhealthy somebody is by looking at them. Yes, being obese raises your risk of developing a variety of illnesses, but there are obese people with no obesity-related illnesses. There are also thin people with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. There are many unhealthy lifestyle choices people can make, but those that lead to obesity carry the heaviest stigma because you can see them.
The bottom line is that people shouldn't have to earn your respect by being a certain shape. Fat people are people, adults who deserve a basic level of human respect. Does it make you happier to be angry at people for being fat? Does it make you feel better about yourself? I don't really understand what the point of putting all this energy into judging people based on their weight. How is the fact that some people are fat hurting you?
I'm not angry at them for being FAT. I'm not angry at them for looking a certain way. I said a million times, I only care because they are throwing their health away. Again, it's not like I look at a person and think "Wow, they must have done this to themselves." But I have met many obese people who are simply lazy. I have met plenty of people who are quite overweight but still lead a healthy lifestyle. And really? Just because someone might NOT get diseases, it's okay? And trust me, I can see things in many other unhealthy habits. I've met smokers who have stained teeth, disgusting yellow nails, and the smoker voice. That's easy to see. And you know what, I don't respect drug addicts/alcoholics either because they are throwing their lives away too. You are so damn lucky to have a life and opportunities and you just waste them being unhealthy and putting yourself at risk, no matter how you are doing it. If they need help, whatever, go out there and get it, whether it's therapy or a nutritionist or even just a supportive friend, go out there and get it. And again, as long as the person is HEALTHY,
I don't care how they look or whatever.
It doesn't mean it's ok, it means it's none of your business. You don't know all the details of fat people's lives by looking at them.
It seems like you're putting a lot of energy into worrying about other people's lives and resenting them for that. Like I said before, concern is normal, but when you're posting on the internet about how much you hate it when people are obese, it seems like your concern isn't healthy anymore. Be concerned, sure, but set adult boundaries, and don't interfere in parts of people's lives that aren't your business. A basic level of respect is something all people should get, not something they should have to earn by making lifestyle choices you approve of, no matter how right you might be about those choices.
You know what? You're right. My problem is I was just using the word "fat". I just don't like unhealthy habits. Who cares if someone's fat. Thanks for that.
Is it normal that I hate when people are obese and unhealthy?
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First of all, you can't tell how somebody got fat by looking at them. You can't tell if it's a medical condition, medication, depression, compulsive overeating disorder, or lifestyle. How do you decide whether to respect somebody? Do you interview every fat person you meet about their medical history and mental health, or do you just assume?
It sounds like you think that if somebody is fat because of their lifestyle, it's because they've chosen to be fat. You're mistaken. Except in a few rare choices, people don't choose to be fat. They make choices that lead to being fat, but that's very different in practice. It's extremely difficult for many people to lose weight, and if people want or need to prioritise other parts of their lives over weight loss, that's their decision. Also, even modest weight loss can be extremely beneficial to morbidly obese people, which means that some of the people you think are throwing their health away may have already worked to significantly decrease their health risks.
It's normal to be concerned about people close to you who are unhealthy, but I think you should re-examine your feelings. Are you upset about obesity just because you're concerned, or are you upset because of the stigma and moral judgements our culture attaches to obesity? It sounds like the latter, to me. You can't tell how healthy or unhealthy somebody is by looking at them. Yes, being obese raises your risk of developing a variety of illnesses, but there are obese people with no obesity-related illnesses. There are also thin people with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. There are many unhealthy lifestyle choices people can make, but those that lead to obesity carry the heaviest stigma because you can see them.
The bottom line is that people shouldn't have to earn your respect by being a certain shape. Fat people are people, adults who deserve a basic level of human respect. Does it make you happier to be angry at people for being fat? Does it make you feel better about yourself? I don't really understand what the point of putting all this energy into judging people based on their weight. How is the fact that some people are fat hurting you?
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kelso
11 years ago
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I'm not angry at them for being FAT. I'm not angry at them for looking a certain way. I said a million times, I only care because they are throwing their health away. Again, it's not like I look at a person and think "Wow, they must have done this to themselves." But I have met many obese people who are simply lazy. I have met plenty of people who are quite overweight but still lead a healthy lifestyle. And really? Just because someone might NOT get diseases, it's okay? And trust me, I can see things in many other unhealthy habits. I've met smokers who have stained teeth, disgusting yellow nails, and the smoker voice. That's easy to see. And you know what, I don't respect drug addicts/alcoholics either because they are throwing their lives away too. You are so damn lucky to have a life and opportunities and you just waste them being unhealthy and putting yourself at risk, no matter how you are doing it. If they need help, whatever, go out there and get it, whether it's therapy or a nutritionist or even just a supportive friend, go out there and get it. And again, as long as the person is HEALTHY,
I don't care how they look or whatever.
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VioletTrees
11 years ago
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It doesn't mean it's ok, it means it's none of your business. You don't know all the details of fat people's lives by looking at them.
It seems like you're putting a lot of energy into worrying about other people's lives and resenting them for that. Like I said before, concern is normal, but when you're posting on the internet about how much you hate it when people are obese, it seems like your concern isn't healthy anymore. Be concerned, sure, but set adult boundaries, and don't interfere in parts of people's lives that aren't your business. A basic level of respect is something all people should get, not something they should have to earn by making lifestyle choices you approve of, no matter how right you might be about those choices.
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kelso
11 years ago
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You know what? You're right. My problem is I was just using the word "fat". I just don't like unhealthy habits. Who cares if someone's fat. Thanks for that.
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VioletTrees
11 years ago
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Thank you! It's lovely to have these conversations be productive.