Men and women are different. Both genders do things that annoy the other. What matters is how we deal with it. The best way, I think, is understanding our differences. If you listen to the way women talk with each other, they often want empathy. Men talk in a more practical problem-solving way.
When women have a problem, they want people to feel sorry for them. When men have a problem, they canvas opinion.
To men, women wanting empathy/sympathy can look attention-seeking and needy. To women, men telling them how to fix their problems can look arrogant and like they are missing the point of the conversation.
Wanting empathy and for people to feel sorry for them is synonymous with being attention seeking and needy in my mind. I just don't understand....when men offer a woman frank advice on how to deal with the problem we come off as arrogant. Ok fine, I suppose that I could see how that could be taken that way even though that's not the case. We are trying to help as best we can...but from what you said women don't actually want help to solve the problem they just want you to say things to them that point out their strong points and boost their down mood. You know what guys call that? Complement fishing. Trying to snag a complement then reel it in. Why is it that women need affirmation to boost their mood? If they were really as strong as all those empathetic comments they receive would lead to believe they wouldn't need to do it. Maybe it's upbringing...men are told to stop whining and man up. women aren't told that...I don't know...like I said I don't get it.
Absolutely. But you're interpreting through male eyes. You're seeing it the way men would see it. You're judging it how you'd judge that person if she was a man who had the same logic and thought process as you.
But she's not. She's a woman. Women see things differently. They have different priorities. They instinctively feel things that men struggle to understand. Both genders probably see their own viewpoint as best. Neither are best. We need both. We've evolved with both. As such, the best thing you can do with the opposite gender is learn from them, rather than judge them and tell them they are wrong just for being who they are.
This goes for both men and women. Communicate, listen, understand.
We *are* different and we shouldn't pretend to be the same or judge each other like we're the same. Nor should we judge the opposite gender as a poor version of our own. Both genders can find reason enough to do that, but it misses the key point. We're different and you can't judge someone different by your own rules.
I feel kind of odd because I'm a girl and I get rather sick of them complaining too.
I guess being raised with just brothers can effect it though. Plus I've made myself want to solve my own problems truthfully since I had to do it earlier in my life just to do with the fact I have a disorder and other things. Also like I said before I feel empathy for others more than myself, not saying I don't care about myself though.
I don't want pity from other that much at all either. I'm just different I guess.
I'm the same, I guess. I'm a boy but I get annoyed by the seeming autism my own gender show whenever feelings are involved. It's like someone chopped that part out of their brain and they are back in their cave, beating their chests.
Mind you, I was raised in a family where my relationships with the females (grandmother, aunt, sister, mother) was most important.
I did roll my eyes at some of the stuff people put on Facebook as well, though. I got the feeling people thought "I know. I'll update my status. Okay, what can I say?" rather than "Something interesting has just happened. I'll tell people."
Yep no worries on that. Both genders are just rather different. I still act like a woman for sure can't say I'm any better than the rest of my gender, just don't get them at times. :)
I just find the gender differences rather fasinating though.
But also to add onto it. I'm not saying I don't complain ever it is human nature but about feeling on fb is how I should of put it. Plus I did do it several years ago but had stopped just because I thought it was dumb and still do. :\
Is it normal that I hate the things that some women post on Facebook?
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Men and women are different. Both genders do things that annoy the other. What matters is how we deal with it. The best way, I think, is understanding our differences. If you listen to the way women talk with each other, they often want empathy. Men talk in a more practical problem-solving way.
When women have a problem, they want people to feel sorry for them. When men have a problem, they canvas opinion.
To men, women wanting empathy/sympathy can look attention-seeking and needy. To women, men telling them how to fix their problems can look arrogant and like they are missing the point of the conversation.
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sac66064
11 years ago
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Exactly. You win the internet today! :D
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Frosties
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Oh no! Where am I going to put it all? :D
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You're grrrrreat! I'm sure you'll have somewhere! :D
Wanting empathy and for people to feel sorry for them is synonymous with being attention seeking and needy in my mind. I just don't understand....when men offer a woman frank advice on how to deal with the problem we come off as arrogant. Ok fine, I suppose that I could see how that could be taken that way even though that's not the case. We are trying to help as best we can...but from what you said women don't actually want help to solve the problem they just want you to say things to them that point out their strong points and boost their down mood. You know what guys call that? Complement fishing. Trying to snag a complement then reel it in. Why is it that women need affirmation to boost their mood? If they were really as strong as all those empathetic comments they receive would lead to believe they wouldn't need to do it. Maybe it's upbringing...men are told to stop whining and man up. women aren't told that...I don't know...like I said I don't get it.
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Absolutely. But you're interpreting through male eyes. You're seeing it the way men would see it. You're judging it how you'd judge that person if she was a man who had the same logic and thought process as you.
But she's not. She's a woman. Women see things differently. They have different priorities. They instinctively feel things that men struggle to understand. Both genders probably see their own viewpoint as best. Neither are best. We need both. We've evolved with both. As such, the best thing you can do with the opposite gender is learn from them, rather than judge them and tell them they are wrong just for being who they are.
This goes for both men and women. Communicate, listen, understand.
We *are* different and we shouldn't pretend to be the same or judge each other like we're the same. Nor should we judge the opposite gender as a poor version of our own. Both genders can find reason enough to do that, but it misses the key point. We're different and you can't judge someone different by your own rules.
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Saycheese
11 years ago
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I feel kind of odd because I'm a girl and I get rather sick of them complaining too.
I guess being raised with just brothers can effect it though. Plus I've made myself want to solve my own problems truthfully since I had to do it earlier in my life just to do with the fact I have a disorder and other things. Also like I said before I feel empathy for others more than myself, not saying I don't care about myself though.
I don't want pity from other that much at all either. I'm just different I guess.
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Saycheese
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I'm the same, I guess. I'm a boy but I get annoyed by the seeming autism my own gender show whenever feelings are involved. It's like someone chopped that part out of their brain and they are back in their cave, beating their chests.
Mind you, I was raised in a family where my relationships with the females (grandmother, aunt, sister, mother) was most important.
I did roll my eyes at some of the stuff people put on Facebook as well, though. I got the feeling people thought "I know. I'll update my status. Okay, what can I say?" rather than "Something interesting has just happened. I'll tell people."
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Saycheese
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Yep no worries on that. Both genders are just rather different. I still act like a woman for sure can't say I'm any better than the rest of my gender, just don't get them at times. :)
I just find the gender differences rather fasinating though.
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Frosties
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Me too. In a way, noticing what is different about us makes us better at being with the gender that isn't us.
But also to add onto it. I'm not saying I don't complain ever it is human nature but about feeling on fb is how I should of put it. Plus I did do it several years ago but had stopped just because I thought it was dumb and still do. :\