Is it normal that i hate my gf's kid?

Welcome to the world of kids. Some kids just piss you off. As long as you can hold back and not kick his face in you will be fine

how is this not normal? just bc it's a five year old doesn't mean you have to like the kid. that's just dumb logic

Ok, first, some advice NEVER, EVER be alone with the child you dislike. Just in case you have a momentary lapse of reason and decide to smack him one.
There could be many reasons you dislike him. Maybe if you take a piece of paper and write down everything you don't like on one side and anything you do like (maybe nothing) on the other side. Then, try to go deeper into your feelings on WHY you dislike that particular thing about the child. If you break the hate up into little chunks, sometimes its easier to find reasons for the dislike.
Some suggestions as to why you might not like him 1) He looks like his dad (presumably the ex of your current partner) 2) You think he is mocking you, hates you, resents your relationship with his mum. 3)You think he is demon possessed kind of like on The Exorcist 4) You resent him because his mum gives him lots of cuddles and attention...attention YOU might otherwise get. 5) He is always talking about his dad, how much he loves him, how good he is...which threatens you and your position with his mum 6) He is a reminder of his mum's relationship with her ex.... You get the point...
I'm sure if you look at things carefully, you will be able to work out where the resentment is coming from. Once you work that out...try and deal with it by using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (look it up online) or maybe Thought Stopping. Also, do positive stuff with the boy but NEVER alone. Stuff you like doing. Find things you have in common, Teach him stuff, fishing, skateboarding, whateva. Be honest with the boy's mum, let her know you are trying to sort out where these feelings come from. That said, the number one reason men seem to resent small children is that THEY want to be looked after and the small child takes mommies attention away. On the bright side, this is something you can deal with.

Have you ever had these violent and ugly feelings about other people? Do you think that this little boy is mistreating you - somehow being unfair to you - really now?

Sure seems to me you are harboring ill will, a grudge and blaming him for something - and that that "something" is groundless and unreasonable. Ask yourself: what do I expect from this child? Then ask if it is reasonable & normal for you, as an adult and step-parent, to expect this. Probably not.

But you are going to have to be honest with yourself about your lack of empathy and respect & man up about the ridiculous ideas and expectations that underlie the animosity you harbour about this mere child.

Glad you want to do something about it.

Honestly ur funny comments have made me feel better, laugh and forget about my nasty ass gf's 7 yr old daughter...for a moment.....im with her for almost 2 years, but ive only met her daughter 2 months ago , she is as fat as a pig, eats 5 times a day and with her hands, rarely using spoon or fork , even has a nose like a pig , she is always up her mom's ass, grabbing her boobs, chews like a pig with mouth open, doesnt like to wash her hands , or if by accident she washes , she doesnt do it with soap, she doesnt wipe or wash after peeing, and she wears tshirt and panties and she sits with her nasty ass yellow stained panties on the pillows where we fkn sleep(her mom finally fixed that issue) , she is disgusting as fuck, kicks the cabinet doors until the cabinet reaches the wall completely , kicks the the fake wall, i literally wanna grab her and throw her through that wall, she looks like a fucking 7yr old pregnant , i think she ate a watermelon whitout chewing it.Everytime we go somewhere she wants to come and she always comes, we havent had a date in over 2 fkn months....she even sleeps with us often, luckily she sleeps deep so i can fuck her mom anyway.....if i didnt had that stress release , id go completely crazy.... And everytime i tell her mom about these things she keeps telling me to stop it and let her be.....wdf are you serious ? And when i tell her daughter to change her clothes cause she is sweating even when she is standing, she says :' my mom didnt change' , or "whatever bla bla bla" when she says that i wanna rip her fkn tongue off and feed it to her , i fkn hate her from the core of my soul, and im thinking of dumping her and her stupid little shit. Even though i love her and i sacrificed alot so i can be with her and she loves me too .....did i mention i absolutely love it when she manages to piss her mom and she ends up getting beaten with the plastic clothes hanger until the hanger breaks ? ITS SO FKN HILARIOUS I BARELY KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE ON HAHAHA .....God im an awful person.....

Dude, my girlfriend's kids are the worst kids in the fucking world, they are a 2 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I try to like them but there is not one thing good about them and she's always insisting that I love her kids, her kids are a constant cause of my misery especially when that means that I have to deal with her ex husband which is a complete fucktard piece shit, I don't think she's a bad mom or anything, I just think she has a pair of mom goggles, her kids to her are perfect little angels, that can do no wrong, but to me they are the biggest problem of my life, I actually do overtime at my work to avoid her little mistakes. Her boy still shits his pants, wtf is that? I swear it's the retard DNA from her ex husband, and the little girl is the worst I've never hated a child so much in my life, just 5 minutes alone makes me want to kiLloyd myself, she can't handle 5 minutes without screaming or needing attention, I work my fucking ass off at work for 16 hours, then I think I'm gonna maybe go home, get into bed and fuck my girlfriend, but no her fucking daughter is in the fucking bed. I hate them so fucking much. Yes it's normal to hate her kids, kids suck ass. I love her, so I deal with them. That's what is important, you are there because you love her. Maybe tell her that you prefer it when the kids are gone. I know that I'd rather be part of a human centipede than spend a day with her kids.

Well I'm back again, and my story is of my gf daughter who enjoys watching her shit ferment in the toilet cause its in her nature not to flush. Very disgusting parasite she has become. She finally apologized to my gf for being drunk and stupid last night. She has not apologized to me and I'm OK with that cause the last thing I want is to let her think I want an apology. Let's put it this way , if she were to die from cancer or heart attack within the next 2 seconds, I would celebrate on the inside while letting my gf cry on !y shoulder. I hate this cunt that much. Useless in so many ways , her tipical day is eat, sleep shit and not flush. Dirty blood stained soiled panties all over the place and I don't believe she wipes her ass because all she leaves in the toilet is everything but never TP. Very disgusting and everyone wonders why she doesn't have a real man. She drinks and smokes pot everyday , she's lazy and uselles in many ways. She thinks she's beautiful but it's only after taking a hundred photos that she finds one she can actually publish on Facebook and she has her tongue sticking out because her fat catchers mit shaped face is to fat to just have a normal picture posted. She needs to get a life so my gf and I can finally have our own life . My advice for men and women experiencing a life of misery with a mentally ill parasite that's not your own is to just save your money and move on even if you love your partner. I have noticed that it does not get better, the parasite only gets worst and tries to see how much they can get away with. The military and my parents taught me discipline and respect to your elders. These fucking kids nowadays hide behind these pussy laws that allow these children( parasites) to behave like morons and its just disgusting these panzy ass parents think its OK. I mean there idea of punishment is a timeout. My idea of a timeout is the 3 seconds I need to wind up for the second slap. Whatever happened to the good old days when you could discipline a disrespectful child and not go to jail. Most of the time the individual that gets slapped more than likely had it coming . I rest my case for now, thank you all for listening, I will be back to update everyone about my current situation.

My gf has 2 kids one is 16 the other is 12The 12 year old is ok, when she is not around her sibling. But the 16year old I would love to clobber her right in her fat face! She is a fat 250 lb girl that dreams of being a 105 lb mean girl. She is a chicken shit starting fights with me, then using her mom to protect her when it becomes too much for her. She picks on her sister all the time, and when the younger punches her, she cries and tries to get the younger on in trouble. She is lazy, obnoxious, can't spell worth a hill of beans, and everything is "ghetto". And even though she has never had certain experience she, she knows what she is talking about and my gf backs her up. We were in a black neighborhood and all she could say is the n- word and all these people were ghetto, and she felt unsafe; even though it is a middle class neighborhood. She chews like a cow with her mouth open and smacks her lips, and then she has the nerve to make fun of other fat people. I wouldn't clobber and I am venting, we had bad week this week.

As long as you don't act on it, imagine away. I would hate to live and not think about myself fighting some 5 year olds once in awhile.

Your hatred is irrational. By your own admission, the child is normal, yet you want to "kick his face in." You seem to recognize that even feeling this way is not okay, but you reject the obvious - counseling. Please do not just keep pretending you like him and think that that is enough. There are counselors that will charge a reduced rate if you cannot afford to pay. Call a few counselors and explain your situation and see what they suggest. He is just a little boy and he does not deserve your hostility. Maybe he is a reminder that your fiancee had children with another man and you can't handle that, but you need to be the grown-up here and get over this. Try putting yourself in his place - the poor kid only gets to see his own mother for a month a year, and has to share her with you, his worst enemy (at least I hope he has no one else feeling pleasure at his injuries).

sorry, I guess I didn't really try to help you.
this is what I think and what I am doing:
- pretend to love him
- do not treat him badly or show that you do not like him
- you only have to put up with him for 4 wks per year
- that is nothing, really.
- if you love his mother, keep doing what you are doing....
- he is only 5 y/o, you might eventually learn to care for him..maybe even love him.
- good luck

I feel the same about my BF's daughter. that's why I found this site. Looking for others who are basically good ppl but hate their step-kids
I don't know why - I also love the oldest of his girls but the youngest I can do wihthout - for no real reason. She's not bad. She is just annoying and my son hates her too
I love it when her father punishes her or yells at her - sadistic right?? God I feel awful
her sister has a hard time with her as well - but she's her bio sister, so, puts up with her.
this kid is the most annoying to me but for some reason - she's her grandparents' favorite
They always talk about her
she's fat, lazy, greedy - eats everything. I can't watch her eats it's disgusting
She's weird too- just stares at ppl. or if I'm doing something like making dinner - she just sits there breathing loudly from her nose and starts at me like I am doing a magic trick or something. I stopped answering her stupid questions : "where are you going" when I am walking around the house..geez!!
Sometimes, sheis following me around - all in my space and I'll slam the door in her face - and I feel good about it...I didn't think I can dislike a kid - 10 years old - that much

Trust me I would like nothing more to stretch them out. They are the softest boys I have ever seen I can't do anything with them,ball,football, box, fishing, camping, jogging, archery, NOTHING . There are kids out there that wish they had a Father figure that would do things with them. Not these to Sissies. PUSSIE BOYS!!! And yes their dad is a pussy and he's afraid of me too. He may have raised them as girlie ass boys. SORRY I HAVE NO OTHER AVENUE TO VENT. And to put this in context I am Black ,mid 30s , former military , in management.

My girlfriend has an 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. Both are turds. They never listen and they're constantly trashing the house. Whenever I say something about it, she says, "But they're so cute!" They are not. I just want to spray them with the garden hose and lock them outside.

I dislike my girlfriend's daughter. She also has a 3 year old boy.. but, the little girl..The way she eats - breathing deeply and almost choking on her food stuffing her face - irks the shit out of me. She also constantly cries and falls. She's going to be 5 years old.. I never felt this way about a kid and I've raised several other kids that weren't even my own. She whines, she cries, she does not listen.. She is demanding. I was once really happy to play with her and spend time with her, but when she tries to cuddle up to me - I turn stiff cold. I'm so happy I didn't decide to move in with her and just stayed weeks at a time. Now, I find myself not even wanting to stay the night anymore.. not even to be with my girlfriend because it means having to deal with her kids in the morning crying they are hungry and they only want to watch what they want or they will scream. I love kids and I don't understand this feeling.. I think I'm even resenting my girlfriend all together for raising her kids to be such picky eaters, disrespectful, whiny, brats.. I hate when people say they're toddlers, of course they're assholes.. FUCK OFF, I've raised kids before that weren't like this.. Oh well, rant over.. I'm happy I can escape.. but I think my relationship will end cos of this..

It is getting worse and worse. I try to be compassionate, I try to find something good about him, but I can't stand my girlfriends 18 year old child. First of all he is a complete sissy. He is scared of so many things. For example when we go to the lake to go swimming his mom tries to get him to put his feet in the water but he won't because he is scared since he doesn't know how to swim. It is like this with everything. He is a scrawny weakling who lets fear control his life. He sits in his room not playing video games but watching people play video games on youtube. He doesn't have any friends or go outside. He just sits in his room all day every day when not in school with his big stupid headphones in his room full of pokemon and legos and shit tons of other little kid stuff. He is really really dumb. Generally nerdy/geeky kids tend to be smart but he is so dumb. He is also incompetent. He can't clean a dish for the life of him, failed his driving test multiple times and has to be driven around, and flunked most of his classes. He has a complete 'punchable face' - he looks like a freak going half bald and all pathetic all the time. I get angry when I look at him he looks so fucking stupid. He doesn't want to work, he just wants to sit on his computer, and it looks like he is going to end up one of those adults who lives in their parents basement. He is awkward to be around - it is not that he has no social skills but he makes things awkward with his nervousness. He tries to be funny by doing this stupid voice I think he got from a cartoon that makes me cringe every time I hear it. But worse of all he is selfish and rude. It is typical for him to refuse to do things, for example he got all weird when I cooked a bbq picnic for memorial day to get out of the house, as he wants to sit in his room on his computer. He never says thank you, never compliments people, and ignores people often when they try to talk to him.
I can't find anything good about him. I can't find anything. He is not smart, ugly as fuck, awkward and not social, no artistic abilities, scared of everything, rude, etc. It brings out this inner bully in me. I resist the urges to pick on him but I want to. I hate him so much but love his mom. I want to be the type of person who would find good in him but he annoys me so much that I don't want to like him. I hate him.

But honestly got say if you wanna be with someone with kids you have to love the person enough to love their kids. It definitely takes a special kind of person to put up with someone elses kids especially when there's another real parent in the background.

Well I've read a few hate stories, so scrolled down past the tons of others to add my own. Like many others of you I've Googled this topic. I really don't like my girlfriends daughter. She's 11 and is horrible. She doesnt like me either so its mutual. She is just the most manipulative little brat I've every come across. Luckily I don't see her that often. I've reached the 3 year stage with my girlfriend now and feel it's time to make a greater commitment but I don't wanna have to live with the daughter. Luckily we only live across the road from each other but its not good going forward. My girlfriend can't be bothered with her most of the time and just dumps her on her ex husband (who's still in love with her) or when she's had enough goes and has a lie down and won't let her in her room. I'm very hands on and deal with her behaviour directly so this has caused explosive situations. But in defence of my girlfriend she has occasionally dealt with her after I've told her about her behaviour. But it needs constant re-enforcing I just can't be bothered I don't see it as my problem. I just find it easier to avoid the kid. She is so manipulative and my girlfriend does what ever she says. One time it was a Friday night and I had plans for the weekend with my girlfriend which we'd agreed. I was watching TV with them The kid starts telling me in English (They are from the Canary islands, my girlfriend can't speak English very well.) her plans for the weekend which involved her mother driving her about the whole time, ruining my plans. I asked my girlfriend about this when we were alone. She said no she didn't know anything about this. I went home that night thinking it was just wishful thinking on the part of the kid. The next day my girlfriend got a load of phone calls from the kids friends mothers giving her logistics for the plans the kid had made with her friends she couldn't really say no and the kid turned the water works on when she tried. It's stuff like that constantly. Also if she doesn't get get own way she goes ballistic. She also extremely possesive of her mother. I've kind of had it with the situation I'm never going to have it how I want it. So probably best to walk away. Your totally normal if you hate you GFS kid.

Oh man, as soon as i say this thread i knew i had to commiserate. My GF has 2 kids, 10yrs and 3yrs. 3yr old is an absolute terrorist. I cannot stand him, not because of his behavior but because of how everyone else treats him. He is an absolute spoiled brat. My GF and her parents literally act like his servants, falling all over themselves to get him whatever he wants. He sleeps with my GF every night because she doesn't like sleeping alone and he's never made to sleep in his bed. He always tries to go into the bathroom with her while she goes or changes, and is always putting his hands up her skirt or down her shirt. He wets his bed every night, never finishes a meal yet whines he's hungry, and never shuts up. And the worst part is my GF complains about his behavior but is a textbook enabler. She decribed her ex as the same way (manipulative, needy, overly physical, aggressive, abusive, rude) which makes me think she just craves attention from assholes and the apple landed right on the root of the tree. He is clearly her favorite kid, as majority of her photos are of only him or the 2 of them and she finds a way to randomly bring him up in conversation daily. I think she knows that this pisses me off as i am the only one who refuses to let him boss me around or worship him yet she does it anyway to drive me nuts. His brother hates him too, as GF ignores him and punishes him for minor stuff while the other little bastard is praised and rewarded for his shitty behavior. Anyway screw that little shithead, and thanks for the vent!

I am so glad i came across this blog, i can relate to so many of these stories. My girlfriend has 2 sons, 7 and 4, and they both suck!! In the beginning i tried to play sports with the 7 year old because thats what i grew up doing, i spent 150 bucks one day on baseball equipment so i could have something to do with him because i really wanted my relationship with this girl to work. We play for 10 minutes and hes tired of it and dont want to play anymore. Instead he always has his face in a phone or a tablet. If neither of those hes up my girlfriends ass. The 4 year old is ok sometimes, like i can tell he likes me so thats cool. But i cant stand to be out in public with them because they act a fool every single time. Someone mentioned they grew up in a strict family, same thing with me.. when these kids backtalk and shit i feel like backhanding them both or taking their electronics away from them for extended periods of time because thats how it was when i was that age when i acted out. But my gd just says that times have changed. I thought about leaving, but shes pregnant, now im stuck with these 2 cock suckers for life

After I found this forum, I realized that I am not alone. My gf has a 4 year old son that I have a strong dislike over a period of time When my gf and I started dating, the kid was quiet and behaved. When I met my gf's parents, they kept harping to me how their grandson, my gf's son, is "such a good boy." But when my gf asks her parents to watch her son for a day because she has to work, they get very pissy at her. As the time went on, and the kid became used to being around me, his misbehaving started to come to the surface. He wakes up around 5 am every morning, he starts screeching and crying, then he comes to lay in bed with my gf and I. He starts doing cartwheels in bed, then he's hungry, then he wants to watch TV, and he wants his mommy to accompany him everywhere. My girlfriend has crappy parenting skills, in fact, I can't call those parenting skills. When she tells her son to do something, or to stop doing something, it's as if she is asking him, instead of telling him "pick up your toys and get ready for bed, okay?" In response, her son screeches out a prolonged, high-pitched "noooooo" followed by whimpering. Or he starts arguing with my gf. And instead of just telling her son "NO" or "STOP", my gf and her son exchange arguments or excuses. And when my gf has the nads to put her son in time out, he starts screaming and screeching and stomping his feet on the floor. I was raised in a very strict family, so I like to have my shit tight and organized. It makes my blood boil when I see a 4 year old argue with his mother, and my gf getting frustrated at her son, yet not do anything about it. My gf doesn't believe in spanking her child, due to the way she was raised. She says that she doesn't want her son to be afraid of her. He always has to be first or get something first, otherwise he has a meltdown. If he falls on the ground while playing outside, he wails until his mother comes to the rescue. The other day I came home to see my gf in tears after her son finally fell asleep after a two-hour long tantrum. She said that no matter what she tried to do or offer, her son would not stop screaming at he top of his lungs, laying on the floor, and kicking his arms and legs. Not only do I resent my gf's son, but I am beginning to resent and distance myself from my gf. The last thing I want to do when I come home from work is listen to stupid cartoons, a loud mouth child that constantly needs his mommmy's validation, and seeing the two of them argue. The kid watches cartoons all day, from the time he wakes up, till he goes to bed. He doesn't want to eat a meal, instead, he wants a "fnak" all day long, and leave half eaten yogurt cartons all over the place. The one that really erks me out, is a 4 year old that eats food with his fingers. I mean...for fuck's sake, it's like parents have no clue that toddlers have dirty hands, let's be blind and let a 4 year old eat with his hands, so that he can get a stomach bug and shit his brains out for a week. At this point, I can't say that I love my gf, I don't feel the fire, lust, and passion that I used to when I met her 7.5 months ago. I just feel sorry for her, and I want to move out. But I don't know how to tell my gf that the reason I want to leave is her son. I don't want to destroy her self esteem as a mother, and have her resent her own child because he is the reason that our relationship is falling apart. I just finished college, and I make decent money. Even though my gf and I split rent and bills, I know that there is no way she would be able to pay everything on her own, and I don't think her parents want her to move in with her son, because I have a feeling they know that he's a little, whiny pussy who will make their life hell. And I don't want to stay in this situation forever either. Please help. I'm starting to feel depressed.

wow im glad to know im not alone. my gf too has a daughter who is 7 years old but im so fuckin annoyed with her.. im trying to get passed that but i just want to drive her face into the wall sometimes..

Trust me I feel the same way you do every day 365 days a year almost every fucking Holliday, always a nightmare!, I hate my wife's kid and I don't think I'll ever get over it this little shit is 4 years old annoying as hell whines for everything, and when he dosent he whinnes even more! It's horrible my mother in law the "fathers" mom gives him everything he wants my wife gives him what ever he wants, he throws a fit even if you touch this little fucker, I live with this hatred every day and I wish I didn't don't get me wrong I love my sister in laws kids they're great, wonderful little rascals, so it's not the kids part it's just this kid! He knows how to manipulate his family for what he wants , he throws a fit and says you hit him even if you didn't even touch him and he cries when he dosent get what he wants , I want to just punch his face in every day! Idk what I suggest to you if you love this girl just deal her kid, tolerate him fake it till you make it, and try to make the best of it , cuss him out when your alone by yourself if it helps you relief that anger inside that's what I do, but hey what people do for love right ?

I know ur feeling only I feel mine is worse. With this girls kid I literally want to fuckimg choke the little fuck with my bare hands until he dies....it was like that with my exs daughter too but after a while I fell in love with her....idk why I hate my significant others kids. I think I have a lil bit of hate for all kids.

Just don't act on those violent feelings.. If you do u will be shot and thrown in jail

I am glad I read this I thought I might be the only person that had extreme dislike for my bf child. I am even going to therapy to help me sort out why I dislike this kid so much. Here is one of the resons my therapist says I don't like him...I have diagnosed adhd and he has in my therapists opinion is (as yet undiagnosed) adhd. She says that often two people with adhd butt heads and can't get along.

She also thinks that I sometimes displace my negative feelings that I sometimes have about my bf (like when we fight) onto the child. She says in life there are going to be people that rub you the wrong way no matter what age they are.

She also thinks that some of the things he does ar done to get my attention however what he does annoys me and pushes a wedge further in between him and I. She said that he wants my attention but doesnt know how to, I dont think he knows how annoying he is being.

He does someone of the stuff that redhead1 said her bf daughter does....stares, talks constantly, eats a lot but is skinny but I dont like watching him eat he looks like a squirrel that just filled its cheeks with nuts. He used to chew with his mouth open but that problem has been corrected for the most part. He dances around a lot, and likes to jump and smack the ceiling. He also listens in on his dad and my conversations and asks questions or makes comments about what he hears.

When I first met my bf and heard about his kid I wanted to be a mother to his kid but now I question whether I can stay with his dad because i dislike his son.

My therapist wants my to feel sorry for him instead of dislike him so much...I am trying but its not easy. What makes it harder is that his dad doesnt see any problem with his son. I have dated other guys with kids and have never disliked a kid other than this one. I don't know if his dad would ever put him on adhd meds but I think it would help.

I know I talked a lot about myself in this comment but I hope that in doing so the orginal writer of this question will realize they arent the only person to feel the way they do. And hopefully by mentioning the reasons my therapist says I dont like my bf son will give you an idea why you may not like your gf kid.

You're water and the boy's oil. You guys don't mix together well. As long as you don't hurt him, you'll be fine.

I have a little cousin that I felt the same way about.
It's completely normal to have such a strong dislike for somebody so much,including people and kids that you have some social obligation to show love to, that you have sadistic thoughts about them. Anybody who says they don't are lying. Lets face it, there's just something about that kid you don't like! My advice is that you try to find out what that is and maybe spend more time with him so maybe you can try to find some "common ground", or just to get used to him.But I wouldn't worry because most the time these kind of feelings usually go away.
Good Luck!

I feel you. My fiancé has two sons and they are both pussies. I did a Halloween prank and the 12 year old cried like a crime for 10mins. I often ask her to let him train with me (muay Thai and BJJ) but she refuses. I am a person who is about total body health and yet she is still against it. Neither one of them can deal with conflict and the youngest never shuts up. We have been together for 3years and they maybe the reason we end our relationship. They are fat ,lazy , selfish, and have poor social skills. This is the age that kids are trying to establish their own identities and become self sufficient. These fat clowns would rather wait on their Mommy to do for them. What's the funniest thing of all is their moms friends know them as and call them "THE HUSKY BROTHERS". Two lil barbecue bitches.