It's not awful that you have these kind of feelings for your father, it's obvious you have some serious issues with him. You might want to talk to him about his drinking, if that's one of your issues with him. Try talking to your mom or a counselor or even a friend about him, trust me sometimes talking to someone can help. I don't think you wouldn't care if he died, I'm sure somewhere inside of you would truely be sadden if he passed away. Try talking with someone, you want to get these issues taken care of because as much as you might not like it now your family is your family and you can't change that.
Is it normal that I hate my father?
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It's not awful that you have these kind of feelings for your father, it's obvious you have some serious issues with him. You might want to talk to him about his drinking, if that's one of your issues with him. Try talking to your mom or a counselor or even a friend about him, trust me sometimes talking to someone can help. I don't think you wouldn't care if he died, I'm sure somewhere inside of you would truely be sadden if he passed away. Try talking with someone, you want to get these issues taken care of because as much as you might not like it now your family is your family and you can't change that.