Feel free to skip over this fellow IINers, because this is a long Anthian-sympathies comment.
I am so much like you it's not even funny. Well, I was like you. I obsessed over every minute flaw and made it a huge deal, my self image was so warped that I saw nothing beautiful about me at all because what I considered flaws stood out like red flags.
My hair was too straight, too boring, I felt fat, average eyes, acne, backne, wide nose, man voice, knobby knees, fat face, glasses, buck teeth, blah blah, the list goes on and on, and I would completely obsess over flaws like those. I couldn't look at people because I felt too ugly for them to look at, and I also felt like people were lying to me to make me feel better about myself. My entire self image was warped.
Thinking about myself made me a very ugly person on the inside. I was very insecure and jealous of others, and I was so negative about life and everything!! Looking back, even three years ago, I realize how shallow I was.
I think we both have twisted self images. I have learned to control myself and mold my appearance into something I find bearable, but I feel so bad for people like you. You remind me of how I was at my lowest and I don't want anyone to feel that way because it is a miserable way to live. Honestly, everything my family and friends ever told me fell on deaf ears and I kind of expect the advice coming from me to be the same way with you. Only you can snap yourself out of your negative funk!
So basically here is some advice from someone who knows dem feels.
Your flaws are not nearly as noticeable to other people as they are to you. You obsess over these flaws, which are really things people don't give two shits about. In fact, cross your belly button, feet, hands, leg marks, forehead, and hair in odd places off your list of dislikes right now. Everyone has body "oddities" like that. They are normal and they are minor.
Confidence is truly powerful and beautiful. This is the hardest one for me because I felt like there was nothing to be confident about. Sooo I chased my ideal "look" to help me feel more confident.
If you truly dislike things about your body, then change them--just don't be extreme. For example, I hated straight hair so I got a perm. I hated dirty blond hair so I dyed it black. I hated glasses so I got contacts, fiddled with acne treatments until my face got clear, and focused on ways to minimize my flaws like my nose. All I am saying is if you are not content with yourself, stop being miserable and do something about it. It's amazing how much someone can change their appearance if it doesn't suit them. Bangs could help cover and downplay your forehead for instance.
This is a long comment already so I should probably leave it at that, reply if you have any questions or anything. I hope this makes sense and I didn't ramble too much.
Is it normal that I hate my appearance this much
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Feel free to skip over this fellow IINers, because this is a long Anthian-sympathies comment.
I am so much like you it's not even funny. Well, I was like you. I obsessed over every minute flaw and made it a huge deal, my self image was so warped that I saw nothing beautiful about me at all because what I considered flaws stood out like red flags.
My hair was too straight, too boring, I felt fat, average eyes, acne, backne, wide nose, man voice, knobby knees, fat face, glasses, buck teeth, blah blah, the list goes on and on, and I would completely obsess over flaws like those. I couldn't look at people because I felt too ugly for them to look at, and I also felt like people were lying to me to make me feel better about myself. My entire self image was warped.
Thinking about myself made me a very ugly person on the inside. I was very insecure and jealous of others, and I was so negative about life and everything!! Looking back, even three years ago, I realize how shallow I was.
I think we both have twisted self images. I have learned to control myself and mold my appearance into something I find bearable, but I feel so bad for people like you. You remind me of how I was at my lowest and I don't want anyone to feel that way because it is a miserable way to live. Honestly, everything my family and friends ever told me fell on deaf ears and I kind of expect the advice coming from me to be the same way with you. Only you can snap yourself out of your negative funk!
So basically here is some advice from someone who knows dem feels.
Your flaws are not nearly as noticeable to other people as they are to you. You obsess over these flaws, which are really things people don't give two shits about. In fact, cross your belly button, feet, hands, leg marks, forehead, and hair in odd places off your list of dislikes right now. Everyone has body "oddities" like that. They are normal and they are minor.
Confidence is truly powerful and beautiful. This is the hardest one for me because I felt like there was nothing to be confident about. Sooo I chased my ideal "look" to help me feel more confident.
If you truly dislike things about your body, then change them--just don't be extreme. For example, I hated straight hair so I got a perm. I hated dirty blond hair so I dyed it black. I hated glasses so I got contacts, fiddled with acne treatments until my face got clear, and focused on ways to minimize my flaws like my nose. All I am saying is if you are not content with yourself, stop being miserable and do something about it. It's amazing how much someone can change their appearance if it doesn't suit them. Bangs could help cover and downplay your forehead for instance.
This is a long comment already so I should probably leave it at that, reply if you have any questions or anything. I hope this makes sense and I didn't ramble too much.
--
shuggy-chan
9 years ago
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you have plenty to be confident about <3