Thanks for taking so much time for this, I really get a bit worried about it all.
And it's not my friends that do this, really, it's other people that are around me...
For example, people always used to make fun of me in elementary school because someone said "Hi" to me and I said "Hi!!" back really enthusiastically and apparently they were being sarcastic. It hurt me a lot and afterwards all the mean people ALWAYS said hi to me, in the same way, and I knew they were making fun of me... So I just kind of ignored them, because what in hell could I have done without it being awkward???
So for years after that when people who looked unfriendly said "Hi" to me, I would get really uneasy and ignore them. Sometimes, they actually WEREN'T joking, and they were just like "o...kay..." and at that point I would always know that they thought I was a freak now.
I used to get picked on loads for being the only Asian... and I guess that just made me get all paranoid
In high school everything is a lot better. People matured, and got nicer. But I think that my mind might be a bit fragile, and all those things have affected me pretty badly...
I'm really glad that I'm not the only one. What you talked about is pretty close to the way I feel. But it's not like I can just shut out everybody who laughs at me... Life doesn't work that way, i've learned. What do I say when awkward/scary situations like these arise?? without damaging relations?? If I lash out at people everyhting just gets worse, and ignoring really does make me feel and look like a wierdo.
Is it normal that I get really paranoid!???
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Thanks for taking so much time for this, I really get a bit worried about it all.
And it's not my friends that do this, really, it's other people that are around me...
For example, people always used to make fun of me in elementary school because someone said "Hi" to me and I said "Hi!!" back really enthusiastically and apparently they were being sarcastic. It hurt me a lot and afterwards all the mean people ALWAYS said hi to me, in the same way, and I knew they were making fun of me... So I just kind of ignored them, because what in hell could I have done without it being awkward???
So for years after that when people who looked unfriendly said "Hi" to me, I would get really uneasy and ignore them. Sometimes, they actually WEREN'T joking, and they were just like "o...kay..." and at that point I would always know that they thought I was a freak now.
I used to get picked on loads for being the only Asian... and I guess that just made me get all paranoid
In high school everything is a lot better. People matured, and got nicer. But I think that my mind might be a bit fragile, and all those things have affected me pretty badly...
I'm really glad that I'm not the only one. What you talked about is pretty close to the way I feel. But it's not like I can just shut out everybody who laughs at me... Life doesn't work that way, i've learned. What do I say when awkward/scary situations like these arise?? without damaging relations?? If I lash out at people everyhting just gets worse, and ignoring really does make me feel and look like a wierdo.