Normal? In a neighbour full of small minded criminals who laugh at eachother sadistically and are kind of a step back in the evolutionary chart. Yeah. It is normal.
You might wanna find other people to hang out with. People who actually do not ask you to take stupid jokes about your so called defects and who actually have got a conscience. Rather than the bunch of sadistic possessive intimidating freaky weirdos you are surrounded by. Who would accept to live amongst these people anyway? That's why most of them have that no way out of it feeling. Ask yourself:why should I be putting up with and bowing to whoever does these things? If you take one of these jokes and laughs the so called right way you end up being socially diminished, everyone else is then authorized to think less of you, because laughing at a joke about one of your or someone else defects is like proving them right in what they are doing. you can't tell the difference? Well, why should you? Why should you? It gets on your nerves, period. It is either they stop or you do not hang out with any of em. From my point of wiev it is normal if behaviors other people consider normal freak you out. Even if they are widely accepted as normal. Who cares about what other people think. If it is the wrong crowd it is the wrong crowd, and no matter how hard you try it will stay the wrong crowd. It will feel wrong.
I know exactly how you feel, happens to me all the time. And I realize I am not the problem. Because I can hang out with other people who interact in a different way just fine. Everytime I get out there and find myself amongst a bunch of people or near them I feel like they are a bunch of hyenas who are going to eat me alive shortly. And well, they are evil. They prove it everyday as far as I am concerned. They might not be aware of it but matter of fact they are. Who says I should be feeling positively in front of positive emotional responses all the time? If they are laughing, and the way the are doing it,what they are laughing about worries me,for the simple fact that I don't really see anything good for me in it, it is only natural for me to run away as far away as I can from them. Everyone is laughing, having what they consider a good time, and If instead of having a good time too I freak out and run away then there is something wrong with me. Nope. There is something wrong with them. I don't like the way they are laughing don't like the way they make jokes I don't like what they do to get a laugh npr how they do it, everything they do has to me only one meaning: these people are trouble. I am not safe. I must get away from them. Bring down all the bridges and make sure they never get in contact with me ever again. And if it is necessary, disappear altogether. And if they do not let me, and keep appearing anywhere I go, or keep me in their reach, then I consider myself their prisoner. So what?
Thanks for taking so much time for this, I really get a bit worried about it all.
And it's not my friends that do this, really, it's other people that are around me...
For example, people always used to make fun of me in elementary school because someone said "Hi" to me and I said "Hi!!" back really enthusiastically and apparently they were being sarcastic. It hurt me a lot and afterwards all the mean people ALWAYS said hi to me, in the same way, and I knew they were making fun of me... So I just kind of ignored them, because what in hell could I have done without it being awkward???
So for years after that when people who looked unfriendly said "Hi" to me, I would get really uneasy and ignore them. Sometimes, they actually WEREN'T joking, and they were just like "o...kay..." and at that point I would always know that they thought I was a freak now.
I used to get picked on loads for being the only Asian... and I guess that just made me get all paranoid
In high school everything is a lot better. People matured, and got nicer. But I think that my mind might be a bit fragile, and all those things have affected me pretty badly...
I'm really glad that I'm not the only one. What you talked about is pretty close to the way I feel. But it's not like I can just shut out everybody who laughs at me... Life doesn't work that way, i've learned. What do I say when awkward/scary situations like these arise?? without damaging relations?? If I lash out at people everyhting just gets worse, and ignoring really does make me feel and look like a wierdo.
Is it normal that I get really paranoid!???
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Normal? In a neighbour full of small minded criminals who laugh at eachother sadistically and are kind of a step back in the evolutionary chart. Yeah. It is normal.
You might wanna find other people to hang out with. People who actually do not ask you to take stupid jokes about your so called defects and who actually have got a conscience. Rather than the bunch of sadistic possessive intimidating freaky weirdos you are surrounded by. Who would accept to live amongst these people anyway? That's why most of them have that no way out of it feeling. Ask yourself:why should I be putting up with and bowing to whoever does these things? If you take one of these jokes and laughs the so called right way you end up being socially diminished, everyone else is then authorized to think less of you, because laughing at a joke about one of your or someone else defects is like proving them right in what they are doing. you can't tell the difference? Well, why should you? Why should you? It gets on your nerves, period. It is either they stop or you do not hang out with any of em. From my point of wiev it is normal if behaviors other people consider normal freak you out. Even if they are widely accepted as normal. Who cares about what other people think. If it is the wrong crowd it is the wrong crowd, and no matter how hard you try it will stay the wrong crowd. It will feel wrong.
I know exactly how you feel, happens to me all the time. And I realize I am not the problem. Because I can hang out with other people who interact in a different way just fine. Everytime I get out there and find myself amongst a bunch of people or near them I feel like they are a bunch of hyenas who are going to eat me alive shortly. And well, they are evil. They prove it everyday as far as I am concerned. They might not be aware of it but matter of fact they are. Who says I should be feeling positively in front of positive emotional responses all the time? If they are laughing, and the way the are doing it,what they are laughing about worries me,for the simple fact that I don't really see anything good for me in it, it is only natural for me to run away as far away as I can from them. Everyone is laughing, having what they consider a good time, and If instead of having a good time too I freak out and run away then there is something wrong with me. Nope. There is something wrong with them. I don't like the way they are laughing don't like the way they make jokes I don't like what they do to get a laugh npr how they do it, everything they do has to me only one meaning: these people are trouble. I am not safe. I must get away from them. Bring down all the bridges and make sure they never get in contact with me ever again. And if it is necessary, disappear altogether. And if they do not let me, and keep appearing anywhere I go, or keep me in their reach, then I consider myself their prisoner. So what?
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Oak
11 years ago
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Thanks for taking so much time for this, I really get a bit worried about it all.
And it's not my friends that do this, really, it's other people that are around me...
For example, people always used to make fun of me in elementary school because someone said "Hi" to me and I said "Hi!!" back really enthusiastically and apparently they were being sarcastic. It hurt me a lot and afterwards all the mean people ALWAYS said hi to me, in the same way, and I knew they were making fun of me... So I just kind of ignored them, because what in hell could I have done without it being awkward???
So for years after that when people who looked unfriendly said "Hi" to me, I would get really uneasy and ignore them. Sometimes, they actually WEREN'T joking, and they were just like "o...kay..." and at that point I would always know that they thought I was a freak now.
I used to get picked on loads for being the only Asian... and I guess that just made me get all paranoid
In high school everything is a lot better. People matured, and got nicer. But I think that my mind might be a bit fragile, and all those things have affected me pretty badly...
I'm really glad that I'm not the only one. What you talked about is pretty close to the way I feel. But it's not like I can just shut out everybody who laughs at me... Life doesn't work that way, i've learned. What do I say when awkward/scary situations like these arise?? without damaging relations?? If I lash out at people everyhting just gets worse, and ignoring really does make me feel and look like a wierdo.