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I'm almost 25, a female, a virgin and I find sex disgusting. I always have found it gross. I'm also scared of it. I've never even tried masturbation. Even though I have feelings for a guy right now, I still find the idea of having sex absolutely nasty. The idea of him touching me down there throws me into a panic. I can only think of sex as manipulative, violating and abusive.
Nope..the guy above is an idiot.. u know we seek for someone who is if our kind and it takes time... I. 24 yr old and a virgin I cud have lost my virginity by hiring a female prostitute but some where I feel kinda a loser in my mind..so I am waiting for someone who is kinda of me. But if it continues for next year as well..the I had to go for it coz now I can control my self... although gals do stare at me n call me handsome as well but they think I am play boy.. although I have never been in relationship coz idon know how to make a girlfriend.
Yes that's the problem, I don't see how love and sex can be one. When people say "making love", I get confused like 'how is that love?'. My views on sex are distorted and twisted. It may be because I was molested as a toddler and was sexually harassed through my youth. I never told any parent and no one talked to me about sex so my views twisted more over time.
Well, if you were sexually harassed or even can't have sex cause it hurts too much (That's a actual condition, I don't remember what it's called.)Then I can see that, but I don't understand how it's violating, if those two things haven't happened to you...if you do feel that way, how are you gonna have children?
You might be interested in looking up or talking to the asexual averse community.
It's not the most common thing but that doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing. It's okay to not want to have sex. The problem I see here might be more to do with your mental health, the strong feelings of disgust or panic that might be interferring with other aspects of your life or bringing back bad memories. I hope you're doing okay!
I actually identify as asexual already, which I omitted from my post because I felt people would react negatively and not give me any actual advice. I go between accepting my aversity to sex to wishing I wasn't this way. It might be how sex obsessed society is for thinking there's something wrong with me.
Its ok to think that way. It isn't true, but we aren't rational, we have to accept our feelings first before we have a chance to see things from another perspective. I don't feel repulsed to the same extent, but definitely have hesitations and shame that I am working through. I think a lot of it has to do with how we are raised, and not only what we're told but what is omitted. I think because in my experience my parents never addressed the topic whatsoever, I grew up thinking it must be bad. As an adult now though I rationally understand it is something that can make you feel good and does not hurt yourself or others, and according to my value system this doesn't conflict with what I believe as being right, or at least not wrong. It also is very fun if you are able to enjoy it. But it isn't easy to shake off feelings that are so deep in your head even if they are irrational. I would do what feels right at the end of the day its your body and you should not feel pressured either way. That being said this clearly interests you or else you wouldn't be writing about it, I would try being fearless and explore what your heart tells you.
My parents never talked about sex growing up. I didn't know what it truly was until middle school. I don't want to mention what happened to me when I was young, but it caused me to have a twisted view on sex. I don't see the connection between love and sex. I also didn't know what masturbation was until my early 20s and was very surprised to learn most people do it. I have come close to a boy touching me down there, but I told him I was too scared. There's also the fear that once someone does something sexual with me, they'll just leave cause that's what all people do, right? Once they get sex, they're done with you.
If I were you I would acquaint myself with my own body before having a boy touch it. Most girls are very particular in what feels good to them, so it is good to have that information so you can communicate later how you like being touched. Also if it is the penetration that feels weird most girls mostly just like getting their clit rubbed anyways if someone is only using their fingers. And no that isn't what all people do but it's good to communicate. If you are meeting someone on tinder or at a party and go for it that night it is unspoken that might be a one time thing. But if you meet a friend of a friend or start spending more time with someone you know and develop a relationship with them and start slow, it is far more unlikely that they will just leave because they too will likely develop some type of emotional attachment to you. Guys don't really feel attached to people because of sex but we can still feel attached, just from other things.
Honestly, at age 25 this is definitely not a "normal" view. Please don't take this as an insult, I don't mean for it to be. Did you ever feel any sort of curiosity toward men/women's bodies growing up? A better question would be, do you ever get horny (even without touching yourself) or feeling pleasure when you accidentally touch your breasts or nipples? If not, I HIGHLY recommend talking with your doctor about this...this isn't something to ignore.
Also, if I may ask, what made you believe or who taught you to think that sexuality is an abusive, manipulative act? To say that makes one wonder if you've been living with a sexual assault (probably in childhood)
It's okay. I actually never felt any curiosity towards anyone's bodies growing up, maybe a little, but it wasn't anything sexual. I also don't feel horny and I don't feel pleasure when I accidentally touch my boobs. I know it's not because of my anti-depressants because I've been this way even when I wasn't on any meds. The guy I like also likes me and he wants to one day do sexual things. I'm really scared and I dunno if I could ever let it get sexual without it having a bad mental effect on me. And yes, there was someone in my family who made me think this way. It was a mix of people from school, family and the media.