Is it normal that i felt suicidal when i was 11?

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I'm generally a very happy, optimistic person but from time to time I seem to have moments of a real low to the point where I think dying would be easier. Then later on I think that those thoughts are just me being silly. I felt this way this morning though and it got me thinking. When I was 11 years old I was going to commit suicide and now I just think thats crazy or maybe I didn't really know what I was thinking because I was so young. Anyways it didn't work as I didn't even know of ways to do it in an easy way. I'd heard of someone dying from spraying areasol in their mouth and I was going to do that but got to scared so sprayed it in my drink which now I realise wouldn't do anything! I also tried eating anything I thought could be poisenous. I'm 18 now and for the most of my life I'm really happy. Its just those times of feeling down that worries me. I don't think I could ever commit sucide because I'd hate to think of the effect on friends and family! Also I'vw not gotten to the point of feeling that quite that low!

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Comments ( 11 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Xan_11
    13 years ago | pl

    Sorry you felt that way at such a young age :(

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  • dappled
    13 years ago | pl

    There are obviously things that trouble you, as there are with many of us. As life goes on, you'll identify what they are. You've got to where you are and stayed alive so there's obviously some instinct in you that is doing the right thing. Trust that instinct and keep doing the right thing.

    Even if life seems miserable sometimes, looking forward is generally the right thing. There is only one way out of life, and no way back, and this requires a surity I don't think anyone has really got. Just keep hanging in there.

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  • sallysallysallysally
    10 years ago | pl

    I wrote this three years ago, and I was that 11 year old 10 years ago now. Things seem so different now! I went travelling for a year in Australia and am going to South America in a few months time. The travelling, along with daily meditation seem to of made quite a big impact on my outlook on life. Meditation really seems to of helped with reducing low swings in my mood.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago | pl

    If it was from school yeah that's normal. Kids are really mean and puberty is stressful. Just have to hang in there and make till graduation and know things will get better.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago | pl

    Some of my first memories was thoughts about my death... It's something that some children go through. And I think it's more common with older children. I'm glad that nothing worked for you, it'll get better!

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  • BurntToastAndAnUglyLavaLamp
    12 years ago | pl

    I'm glad you feel better about life now. (: I was suicidal at a young age also. I went through a lot and can relate. If you have a relapse, need a friend or just need to talk about anything, I'm good at listening.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Yea it happened to me when i was 11. i had a knife on my wrist when my mom came into my room.

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  • sallysallysallysally
    13 years ago | pl

    I'm rarely bored so I don't think its that and its strange as well because sometimes I don't even exactly know why I'm feeling a certain way. Today I feel super good and happy and then suddendly I'll get that feeling again. Right now in my happy state I find it hard to think I felt that way. I don't want to die yet, I'm a pretty ambitious person and hope to go far in life doing something creative, hopefully fashion photography! I don't know why I have those crazy moments of sadness.

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  • anya07
    13 years ago | pl

    Its normal.Life is not always easy and in hard times its easier to think of death.I have been really unhappy last 3 years and I have thought about it as well but I am not going to do that because it will mean I am weak.I am here to live not to die.

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  • expiredingoreville
    13 years ago | pl

    it's probably more common than you think. i think i was eleven or twelve the first time i tried.

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  • alexskc
    13 years ago | pl

    Whenever I feel that way, I just think to myself 'meh, probably just didn't get enough sleep.' Though sometimes, it is just a case of boredom. Ie. "I'm so bored... I never do anything useful in life, I never will... Why go on" etc. Side note: people who commit suicide tend to have low cholesterol, so just eat and sleep, and you should feel better :)

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