Thank you so much for breaking this into two messages!! Such a good idea :)
I know I was blunt with this thick thighs statement but this is bound to be a messy conversation so let me give my piece.
I want you to know also that if we agree to disagree this is OK.
But I think first the distinction should be made between behavior and the processing of sexual desire.
Objectification as the ACT of speaking rudely to a women, oggling her body parts all the things you described are awful and most men know this. Of course many of these men are quietly living their lives so it is the assholes we notice, you especially so as an unfortunate consequence of how beautiful women tend to be the targets of these men.
And I will just say this, if objectification extends to a man getting an erection and doing nothing more, then all men are guilty of this. Both sexes are guilty of thinking the other sex is like us while in my opinion this is one of the biggest differences between men and women. (Men are so preoccupied with penis size and are so confused seeing physically less attractive men with beautiful women) and women believe or some do that men fundamentally have the capacity to be immediately aroused by a woman as a person. And this is not true.
So you can see this as immoral, and maybe it is, but it is a fact of male physiology and what makes are cocks hard which is something we have no mental control over whatsoever.
So I choose to see this as OK. And not live with shame for what I cannot control.
What I can control is my behavior, just because my penis only cares about ass, my mind and heart obviously obviously see mountains more inside of a woman than this.
I've had female family members and friends I love throughout my life who's bodies are inconsequential to our relationship.
So the difference only is that in most cases what turns us men on stays pretty detached from female behavior, which you could even see as a positive in that this could be seen as being less judgemental if a woman isn't so intelligent or interesting and still be attracted while a woman wouldn't want a man like this though maybe this is a stretch hahah
OK much more seriously, the actions of these men are totally rude immature and awful, and not at all fair. I've worked in gay nightlife so to a smaller extent have experienced things like this and it is so uncomfortable.
To wrap this up I know I said earlier maybe it is immoral but in my heart I don't think so. Just as on the other hand I don't think it is moral that a women doesn't objectify so much, as this is simply how penises and vaginas work. A woman doesn't fight her sexual intuition to fantasize men in the way you describe that is what you think naturally. So I don't think it is fair to apply the same standard as far as our thoughts. Though of course a women's ways of viewing the opposite sex sets a much better standard for how we should actually treat people.
To answer your specific questions, none of these are right. I would need a specific example, but most men feel sexual urges from seeing a woman's body. And these urges are already at close to 100%, something a woman wouldn't typically feel until after she has been with a man for some time. It is actually quite distressing for a man to feel this way and know there is no socially/morally appropriate way to release this feeling.
Its a clear behavioral issue in men who go ahead and say this to women anyways, I would assume they are clueless as to how to properly approach women as most men are, and also are able to dissociate to some degree so they don't feel guilt and they don't fully recognize you as a person. Anyone with this capacity can do this to anyone though and he is not trying to make you personally feel or think anything.
If you mean a generally in shape body I agree, for the specific bodies I am most attracted to there are far fewer than the amount of most beautiful faces. But also faces are not nearly so sexually triggering to most men.
They are responding to your body like an object like if you saw a piece of clothing you liked but like x100. And are ignoring you and completely unconcerned with your reaction just that they hope you don't become too mad.
To be fully honest it is as I said before very difficult to feel these urges and not do anything and see women so attractive and pretend you aren't seeing anything special in their bodies. The degree to which men feel arousal throughout the day is much stronger than we give credit and that makes this situation messier. But it does not even marginally make this type of behavior OK, and is although challenging, completely possible for a man to keep his mouth shut about such topics and treat women like people.
I couldn't imagine dealing with this type of shit every day I don't know how you do it :(
Is it normal that I feel very uncomfortable about looking good?
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Thank you so much for breaking this into two messages!! Such a good idea :)
I know I was blunt with this thick thighs statement but this is bound to be a messy conversation so let me give my piece.
I want you to know also that if we agree to disagree this is OK.
But I think first the distinction should be made between behavior and the processing of sexual desire.
Objectification as the ACT of speaking rudely to a women, oggling her body parts all the things you described are awful and most men know this. Of course many of these men are quietly living their lives so it is the assholes we notice, you especially so as an unfortunate consequence of how beautiful women tend to be the targets of these men.
And I will just say this, if objectification extends to a man getting an erection and doing nothing more, then all men are guilty of this. Both sexes are guilty of thinking the other sex is like us while in my opinion this is one of the biggest differences between men and women. (Men are so preoccupied with penis size and are so confused seeing physically less attractive men with beautiful women) and women believe or some do that men fundamentally have the capacity to be immediately aroused by a woman as a person. And this is not true.
So you can see this as immoral, and maybe it is, but it is a fact of male physiology and what makes are cocks hard which is something we have no mental control over whatsoever.
So I choose to see this as OK. And not live with shame for what I cannot control.
What I can control is my behavior, just because my penis only cares about ass, my mind and heart obviously obviously see mountains more inside of a woman than this.
I've had female family members and friends I love throughout my life who's bodies are inconsequential to our relationship.
So the difference only is that in most cases what turns us men on stays pretty detached from female behavior, which you could even see as a positive in that this could be seen as being less judgemental if a woman isn't so intelligent or interesting and still be attracted while a woman wouldn't want a man like this though maybe this is a stretch hahah
OK much more seriously, the actions of these men are totally rude immature and awful, and not at all fair. I've worked in gay nightlife so to a smaller extent have experienced things like this and it is so uncomfortable.
To wrap this up I know I said earlier maybe it is immoral but in my heart I don't think so. Just as on the other hand I don't think it is moral that a women doesn't objectify so much, as this is simply how penises and vaginas work. A woman doesn't fight her sexual intuition to fantasize men in the way you describe that is what you think naturally. So I don't think it is fair to apply the same standard as far as our thoughts. Though of course a women's ways of viewing the opposite sex sets a much better standard for how we should actually treat people.
To answer your specific questions, none of these are right. I would need a specific example, but most men feel sexual urges from seeing a woman's body. And these urges are already at close to 100%, something a woman wouldn't typically feel until after she has been with a man for some time. It is actually quite distressing for a man to feel this way and know there is no socially/morally appropriate way to release this feeling.
Its a clear behavioral issue in men who go ahead and say this to women anyways, I would assume they are clueless as to how to properly approach women as most men are, and also are able to dissociate to some degree so they don't feel guilt and they don't fully recognize you as a person. Anyone with this capacity can do this to anyone though and he is not trying to make you personally feel or think anything.
If you mean a generally in shape body I agree, for the specific bodies I am most attracted to there are far fewer than the amount of most beautiful faces. But also faces are not nearly so sexually triggering to most men.
They are responding to your body like an object like if you saw a piece of clothing you liked but like x100. And are ignoring you and completely unconcerned with your reaction just that they hope you don't become too mad.
To be fully honest it is as I said before very difficult to feel these urges and not do anything and see women so attractive and pretend you aren't seeing anything special in their bodies. The degree to which men feel arousal throughout the day is much stronger than we give credit and that makes this situation messier. But it does not even marginally make this type of behavior OK, and is although challenging, completely possible for a man to keep his mouth shut about such topics and treat women like people.
I couldn't imagine dealing with this type of shit every day I don't know how you do it :(