you have a lot going on but i identified a lot from what you wrote like that happens to me especially the waking up with a broken heart for no apparent reason. thing is these feelings aren't normal the moment an 18 year old girl like yourself starts thinking of suicide just the thought of it it's sad, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. your abortion fueled this sadness that was already in you & thing is you can't just snap out of it right?! seek professional help i know such a generic answer but it's better than not trying at all, at least you have someone you love which is great not many people have that.
Is it normal that I feel very mentally ill?
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you have a lot going on but i identified a lot from what you wrote like that happens to me especially the waking up with a broken heart for no apparent reason. thing is these feelings aren't normal the moment an 18 year old girl like yourself starts thinking of suicide just the thought of it it's sad, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. your abortion fueled this sadness that was already in you & thing is you can't just snap out of it right?! seek professional help i know such a generic answer but it's better than not trying at all, at least you have someone you love which is great not many people have that.