It's obvious from your post that you are intelligent. But also that you place way too much stock in the opinions of others. Perhaps you even seek bad relationships because it's what you have grown accustomed to, and that you need to hear about how great other people are because it hurts you and reinforces the attitudes of the most important male relationship of your early life.
I'm sure you are bright enough to realise other people's achievements aren't even the slightest reflection on you and should have virtually no effect. Also, that they're having an effect because you're making them have an effect.
I don't know how you turn something like this around but perhaps your studies will give you a better answer than any of us can.
Is it normal that i feel useless next to anyone/everyone else?
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It's obvious from your post that you are intelligent. But also that you place way too much stock in the opinions of others. Perhaps you even seek bad relationships because it's what you have grown accustomed to, and that you need to hear about how great other people are because it hurts you and reinforces the attitudes of the most important male relationship of your early life.
I'm sure you are bright enough to realise other people's achievements aren't even the slightest reflection on you and should have virtually no effect. Also, that they're having an effect because you're making them have an effect.
I don't know how you turn something like this around but perhaps your studies will give you a better answer than any of us can.