Is it normal that i feel this way about what i did?

71% Normal
14 Comments

Ok, so, I have an amazing boyfriend and I am in love with him and he's in love with me and we've been together for a while (we're even talking about marriage and moving in together). Anyways. We're both virgins, and have never really done anything that was very sexual together, anyways, we both decided to send each other nudes, and at the time, I was totally fine with it, he deleted the pic I sent right after I sent it, and I deleted the pic he sent. Anyways, this was like a couple hours ago, is it normal that I'm starting to have regrets and feel like a dirty slut?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 84 votes (60 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • CountessDouche
    9 years ago

    Yes, it's a normal feeling, and no, you ARE NOT a slut. It's perfectly normal to want to explore your sexuality with someone, even if you are committed to not having sex before marriage. There are plenty of ways to do this, from phonesex, to mutual masturbation, to "outercourse," if you two are interested in taking things further.

    It does worry me that you associate sex with guilt. It's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Exploring sex with your boyfriend is completely normal and healthy! If you think you are ready for marriage, you need to spend some time thinking about your hang ups and guilt involving sexuality, because I assure you, sex is a good part of any healthy marriage.

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    • Lady-Of-The-Night
      9 years ago

      I've always been that way. One time we did some sexual things, and afterwards, I went home, took two showers and cried because I felt that dirty and horrible.

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      • CountessDouche
        9 years ago

        I'm so sorry that you feel that way! Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?

        I'm not here to encourage you to have sex when you aren't ready. Waiting can make the sex even better and definitely more special. Sex can and should be something that is fun and enjoyable and amazing and wonderful...when you have it with the right person at the right time. You should really talk to someone about the guilty feelings that you associate with sex; otherwise, you're going to miss out on one of the very best parts of life.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          Best parts in life being a slut.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          Thats bs she needs to make a decision who to be with or find a guy who is fine with an open relationship what shes doing is dirty and disrespectful.

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  • sandraasiilva
    9 years ago

    That's normal, don't worry. And you're not doing anything wrong. I also felt that way on the first time I did something "sexual" with my boyfriend. I felt bad, I felt exactly how you are feeling right now. And I thought he was thinking bad things about me, too.
    However, he noticed that I was acting weird, and I ended up telling him how I was feeling. Then, everything went well because he told me that everything was fine and that he was not thinking badly about me because of it. He also said that do that "sexual things" or show that side of me doesn't make me a dirty slut. That was ALL I wanted to hear. And now I don't feel dirty anymore after doing stuff with him, I'm pretty comfortable with it.
    Maybe that's also what you need to hear. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, you will feel much better.

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  • FuzzaMuzza7
    9 years ago

    If you are going to show each other's bodies, do it together in private when yous are alone

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  • richmanjoe
    9 years ago

    It is only not normal to be a virgin.

    You need to open up about your own sexuality. Also, anything you do with your partner is ok and nothing to be ashamed of. If you try to impose some idea onto yourself of how you think other people think you ought to be, then you will be unhappy. Find out who you are, and you do that by safely experimenting.

    Of course realize too that anything you send electronically may be made public.

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  • WonderGuy0103
    9 years ago

    It's normal to have those feelings, but remember you are not a dirty slut.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Is it wise to be considering marriage with someone you may not be at all sexually compatible with? If you haven't even seen each other naked, then you are a very long way from being prepared for marriage. This isn't the 17th century and unless you are both totally a-sexual, sex will be an important part of your marriage, so don't you think you two should know if you are at all compatible?
    Another problem with being a virgin when you marry, is that it is very normal to wonder what it would be like to be with someone else, and this could cause problems down the road. You shouldn't get married until you have had at least a few partners, if you are hoping for a life long relationship.

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    • Lady-Of-The-Night
      9 years ago

      But we love each other, and I don't want anyone else except him. I don't want to be like everyone else and have several sex partners. I only want him.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        Good luck to you two.

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    • WhatHasThisWorldComeTo
      9 years ago

      So I guess were just supposed to sleep around. Well what ever I want my first to be with someone special not someone that is just going to walk out of my life and besides, I want them to love me for me not my BOOBS and my VAGINA.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        Sex, like anything else, requires experience and practice to master. The ability to please someone you love very much is a lot more important, IMO, than some outdated, silly ideal of maintaining your virginity until you marry. It's a wonderful thought to have your first time be with somebody special, but if you are both virgins, then the fumbling and bumbling of that first time will most likely be remembered for how unpleasurable it was, rather than for how wonderful it was.
        However, you obviously don't care to hear this, which is fine, but when you two have been married for several years and curiosity gets the better of one of you and cheats, perhaps you will remember this conversation and regret your closed mindedness.
        Again, and sincerely meant, good luck.

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