is it normal that I feel this way?

Try going out with women, not girls. HUGE difference!
Also, I'm a pretty good example of how someone can find a loving relationship unexpectedly. My wife is 42 years my junior and we have a really great relationship. She understood before we married that I will age and possibly become someone she will need to help out, but chose to marry me anyway.
Change your attitude first, then see what happens.
The difference between can and can not is only 3 letters, and those 3 letters determine you life's direction.