I won't be much help but two things I want to comment:
You think that the "true him" came out somehow.
But people are not just one way or another. Maybe the cool/relaxed part of him is just as real as the demanding part. Please don't lose faith that there's more to him then his weakness - even if he lost that faith himself.
I don't believe you're a bad person. You sound very caring and it's admirable that you are so honest and that you seak help.
Best wishes to both of you!
Is it normal that I feel this way?
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I won't be much help but two things I want to comment:
You think that the "true him" came out somehow.
But people are not just one way or another. Maybe the cool/relaxed part of him is just as real as the demanding part. Please don't lose faith that there's more to him then his weakness - even if he lost that faith himself.
I don't believe you're a bad person. You sound very caring and it's admirable that you are so honest and that you seak help.
Best wishes to both of you!