Is it normal that i feel so lost?

I am so confused!!!! I've had such a rollercoaster of a journey over the last 5 years. Met the love of my life whilst travelling through New Zealand. We ended up having a little girl who had Down Syndrome and needed open heart surgery. This resulted in my husband losing his mind and as a result he became very aggressive and abusive in our relationship. Left him and moved back to England. Set up my life and we started to try to work things out again. Had our second child. Got my life together, gained my teaching qualification and moved into a beautiful house and then everything fell to pieces as he relapsed and became violent again. Left him over 2 years ago! During this time I have raised both my children on my own with no grandparents or family around. Only 6 months after we separated my Mum was diagnosed with cancer. For the last year she suffered a slow and painful death and to top it off she lived in New Zealand so I wasn't able to be there with her throughout. She passed away only a month ago only to drop the bombshell 2 months before she passed that my Dad isn't actually my real Dad.

Now I'm so confused. I feel that finally I've hit a period (be it only a month) but a period of calm after what feels like 5 years of constant storm. I don't know what I want in my life anymore. I feel unfulfilled in my job, I have a boyfriend but I don't feel like it's working how I want it to, I feel like I;m doing everything wrong and I just want a fresh start. My Dad is still living in New Zealand and he's losing his memory and struggling so much with the loss of my Mum. At the moment the country is crying out for Special Needs teachers which is my specialism. My ex said he would move to NZ to be with the kids but my boyfriend totally blew off the idea. Truth is i don;t think our relationship would be ready for that kind of pressure anyway. I just wish someone could give me the answer. What do I need to do? Where am I meant to be next? It's not about actually following through with the decisions I make it's the fact that I feel Ive had such a run of bad luck that I don't want to make any more mistakes. But how do you know? Why am I always so confused???? I just want someone to be there to join me and make everything okay so I don;t feel alone anymore. Is this normal?