In all honesty you will find it hard to ever trust her again, even with forgiving her for this. And its almost a statistical probability that if she did it once she will either do it again or be very tempted into doing it again, and without even going into your feelings about it, imagine the example that would set for your kids. Kids are very perceptive and learn very quickly, if you have a daughter that witnesses this behavior she could very well grow up thinking there is little to nothing wrong with it.
Its also not your fault that she gets upset and yells at you for silly household chores, she is probably not happy herself, not because of you though, she probably doesnt want to be happy and it scares her. Some people go through their entire lives just being angry because its easier for them. Your real concern now is the kids, not this woman with insecurity issues, that takes it out on you.
I read your decision about leaving, I think as hard as it is. Its the best decision you can make.
Is it normal that I feel "lost" because my wife cheated on me?
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In all honesty you will find it hard to ever trust her again, even with forgiving her for this. And its almost a statistical probability that if she did it once she will either do it again or be very tempted into doing it again, and without even going into your feelings about it, imagine the example that would set for your kids. Kids are very perceptive and learn very quickly, if you have a daughter that witnesses this behavior she could very well grow up thinking there is little to nothing wrong with it.
Its also not your fault that she gets upset and yells at you for silly household chores, she is probably not happy herself, not because of you though, she probably doesnt want to be happy and it scares her. Some people go through their entire lives just being angry because its easier for them. Your real concern now is the kids, not this woman with insecurity issues, that takes it out on you.
I read your decision about leaving, I think as hard as it is. Its the best decision you can make.