I don't know if you're trolling or not but you sound very much like a potential serial killer. It really only takes two pieces to complete the puzzle and there are three pieces that can work.
See, it's a misconception that all psychopaths are likely to be serial killers. They simply lack empathy and they're something like 1 in 20. Whether they have empathy or not, a desire to kill is strange and doesn't just come along with it.
So being a psychopath is one of the two possible pieces and an ideal one. For the missing slot, it's either filled with being a sexual sadist or being profoundly fucking bored and interested in death.
You seem to have that going on. Many serial killers used to do things like halfway hang themselves for no apparent reason before ultimately killing. Some take pictures of themselves tied up with guns to their heads and such. Life is just profoundly boring to them and death, whether theirs or someone else's, makes them feel at least something.
I sincerely hope you're not also psychopathic or sexually sadistic because possessing any two of these three traits simultaneously tends to make serial killers, although less so if one of the three isn't psychopathy.
Thank you for answering my post. and before I answer yours, sorry if I interpreted something you said wrong or I make a typo, because I'm using google translator.
I think of myself doing it, but I would never be able to really do it in real life. and suicide is the same thing I said before. I would never do, even if I imagine myself doing it.
and I feel empathy for all beings (except ants because I am afraid of them), sometimes my empathy can be selective but it is nothing out of the ordinary. hell, I can't bear the feeling that I accidentally stepped on my dog's paw, imagine hurting someone. But I suppose that imagining something is different from doing something
but that's it. also, you can hate on me. for what I posted, I kind of deserve it. but I’m never going to be a serial killer or a rapist or anything that will hurt anyone.
and I'm sorry if my text was difficult to understand.
You actually do have suicidal ideation though. It means you've specifically planned it in your head, maybe as an exercise in curiosity. It doesn't sound like you're a sociopath either.
I actually wonder if it would appease your morbid feelings to experience questions about death or the subject of death & suicide second hand. There's a lot of artwork, literature (both fictional & non) & f8lm about the subject. There's a lot of documentaries about people who've attempted suicide and exactly what they experienced.
The Bridge (2006) is a good watch
Also there's a book called Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. It's actually an amazing, morbid read. It's a research scientist/sociologist who delves into different ways to die & what happens to the human body during death.
What happens when you get decapitated? What happens during a plane crash? Do you stay conscious? What are people's experiences with near death & seeing the afterlife? Does the soul exist? What happens during autopsy & embalming?
It's a KILLER read, pun intended. I was so interested in it. I actually read the plane crash chapter on a plane lol
This might help alleviate your need to explore the ideas about death that make you curious without encouraging you to continue down the road of contemplating suicide.
Even if these are thoughts you don't plan to actualize, they can still be dangerous because they can familiarize you with the idea & desensitize you. Then if you do have a depressive episode, it might seem like a less scary idea. If you think you're close to getting there, I'd seek professional help.
In the mean time, exploring the idea of death & what it is & the human experience...that's a normal fascination that's existed forever, for most people.
It is ok to think about death...not about planning your own suicide.
I'm not hating on you. It sounds like you're just bored and curious. That's pretty normal. Most people have had plenty of thoughts they would never admit to.
IIN that I feel like killing myself even though I'm not suicidal?
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I don't know if you're trolling or not but you sound very much like a potential serial killer. It really only takes two pieces to complete the puzzle and there are three pieces that can work.
See, it's a misconception that all psychopaths are likely to be serial killers. They simply lack empathy and they're something like 1 in 20. Whether they have empathy or not, a desire to kill is strange and doesn't just come along with it.
So being a psychopath is one of the two possible pieces and an ideal one. For the missing slot, it's either filled with being a sexual sadist or being profoundly fucking bored and interested in death.
You seem to have that going on. Many serial killers used to do things like halfway hang themselves for no apparent reason before ultimately killing. Some take pictures of themselves tied up with guns to their heads and such. Life is just profoundly boring to them and death, whether theirs or someone else's, makes them feel at least something.
I sincerely hope you're not also psychopathic or sexually sadistic because possessing any two of these three traits simultaneously tends to make serial killers, although less so if one of the three isn't psychopathy.
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jck157
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Thank you for answering my post. and before I answer yours, sorry if I interpreted something you said wrong or I make a typo, because I'm using google translator.
I think of myself doing it, but I would never be able to really do it in real life. and suicide is the same thing I said before. I would never do, even if I imagine myself doing it.
and I feel empathy for all beings (except ants because I am afraid of them), sometimes my empathy can be selective but it is nothing out of the ordinary. hell, I can't bear the feeling that I accidentally stepped on my dog's paw, imagine hurting someone. But I suppose that imagining something is different from doing something
but that's it. also, you can hate on me. for what I posted, I kind of deserve it. but I’m never going to be a serial killer or a rapist or anything that will hurt anyone.
and I'm sorry if my text was difficult to understand.
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CountessDouche
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S0UNDS_WEIRD
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You actually do have suicidal ideation though. It means you've specifically planned it in your head, maybe as an exercise in curiosity. It doesn't sound like you're a sociopath either.
I actually wonder if it would appease your morbid feelings to experience questions about death or the subject of death & suicide second hand. There's a lot of artwork, literature (both fictional & non) & f8lm about the subject. There's a lot of documentaries about people who've attempted suicide and exactly what they experienced.
The Bridge (2006) is a good watch
Also there's a book called Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. It's actually an amazing, morbid read. It's a research scientist/sociologist who delves into different ways to die & what happens to the human body during death.
What happens when you get decapitated? What happens during a plane crash? Do you stay conscious? What are people's experiences with near death & seeing the afterlife? Does the soul exist? What happens during autopsy & embalming?
It's a KILLER read, pun intended. I was so interested in it. I actually read the plane crash chapter on a plane lol
This might help alleviate your need to explore the ideas about death that make you curious without encouraging you to continue down the road of contemplating suicide.
Even if these are thoughts you don't plan to actualize, they can still be dangerous because they can familiarize you with the idea & desensitize you. Then if you do have a depressive episode, it might seem like a less scary idea. If you think you're close to getting there, I'd seek professional help.
In the mean time, exploring the idea of death & what it is & the human experience...that's a normal fascination that's existed forever, for most people.
It is ok to think about death...not about planning your own suicide.
I'm not hating on you. It sounds like you're just bored and curious. That's pretty normal. Most people have had plenty of thoughts they would never admit to.