Is it normal that i feel like i'm always fighting myself?

I have the same exact question. I feel the same way, and I'm always wondering if I might be schizophrenic too or something else. In my past I've already spoken to someone about depression, but I don't know... it feels like its more serious then just depression. I think it could be something else.

I'm so weird, because everything feels intense with me. But if you knew me in person you probably would never know. But I feel like everything I feel is to the extreme. Like when I "love" (its really probably just lust), I swear I sometimes feel like I could seriously just die for them. I want to give the people I like and love everything. I think I would just give them all my money if they hit rock bottom. When I'm nice, its to the max! I think if I were put in a position where somebody wanted to take someones life, I honestly could picture myself telling them to take me instead.

And I'm usually not easily pissed off, but when I get angry, that seems to be to the max too. I mean, I would never put my hands on someone else. Never would I hurt anyone, but the anger I feel inside, the rage, it feels so powerful, and it seems to explode out of nowhere, and I really don't know where it comes from. And it almost seems like it couldn't possibly be me in the small body that I have with so much strength that I seem to have when I'm angry. Like this one memory I have of me when I was 16, I was angry about something, but instead of voicing it at that moment, I stomped into my room, slammed my door, and picked up this glass bottle that was filled with change, and I threw it across my closet door. Glass shattered everywhere, and then it was like a damn scene from a movie. I fell to my knees, belted out this loud cry, put my face in the palms of my hands, then scurried to pick up the broken pieces that layed on my floor, literally tried in a panic to piece them back together, my mom walks in, asks me whats wrong... I quickly stopped crying and said that I would clean up the glass. She was pissed of course that there was glass everywhere, but I was okay after that and kibnda wanted to pretend it never happened. But its weird because I never get angry like that. I might explode like that maybe once every two years. This is all just stuff going on in my mind.

Like my other side of me that I'm fighting with, is that side that thinks shes right all. the. time. The side of me that walks around pissed off at the world. Or the side of me that believes everyone is conspiring against me. The side that says I wanna punch them in the face, BUT the clincher is that I never ever would. I don't understand it, honestly. And sometimes I act like a wild chick, you know, I'll be driving like 85 in a 45. Then other days I'm all like quiet, and down to earth, really not wanting to do anything extreme, then I have days where I kinda just feel like crying. Its almost like its multiple actors inside an actor. Sorry that was so long.

When you're mean and angry that's when you need to smoke weed

Schizophrenic would be more of another area, I don't believe this pertains to your situation.

I don't believe it would be a split personality disorder either, because that means you have no recollections of yourself when your mood/personality changes.

However, it may be along the lines of a mild bipolar disorder, or severe mood swings. For instance, one second you feel almost too (unnormally happy), and the next you feel either severely depressed and upset- or extremely angry and restless.
There are two types of bipolar disorder, the upset anxiety kind, or the kind that switches to anger and resentment.

If none of the above it could be as simple as built up anxiety simply needing to be let go of and accepted. Cognitive skills are meant to help retrain the brain to think in a posative clear, stable state of mind. It can be gained by self help books and research, or a few therapeutic classes.
Hope this helped!

There are mild medications proven to be extremely effective if perscribed, and believe it or not, 15 minutes of sunlight daily!

Sometimes when I'm trying to convince myself not to do something stupid or bad I'll start fighting myself.

My story is almost identical to yours. Too much to type right now. I don't really know if it's normal or not though. My therapist said "everyone is like this", but I might disagree.

I'm much more fucked up about it than others I've spoken to about it.

Sometimes I think it has to do with my parents being such polar opposites but IDK.

I wonder if the "Nature VS. Nurture" argument will ever be settled.

Same here man. My advice is that you get a release. My release is playing lots of sports (athletics/football/swimming/hockey/rugby), it helps but sometimes its not enough... So I also come on to this website to express the more "depressed" side of my personality to people who post stupid questions. It makes me feel better.