Hey PP ignore the eejits, they don't mean any harm really.
I can only suggest that you respond to him, as you see him respond to the boys. He has to know it's ok to let it out otherwise he will bottle it all up and let it eat away at him.
I'm almost imagining that he's comparing his wonderful life now to the horrid memories he had as a child - so his tears may be of gratitude as well as frustration. If it isn't instinctive to you, I'd treat him like my child and put my arm under his head and pull him close onto my shoulder and hold him tightly. I'd let him cry for as long as he needed, or maybe until he fell asleep.
If this doesn't come naturally to you, then you may have discovered the reason for your twins' reliance on John. Boys (aka men) often don't need you to solve any of their problems, they just want a good strong hug to know that you care. My son (@ 5yo) hobbled for days after scraping his knee. I said it couldn't still be sore but he insisted it was .... coz I hadn't kissed it better 2 days before :o)
It's as if they just want to know that, if you could, you would take their pain away. Hope this makes sense!
It's great that you two are so close and it does usually need one person to seem / be emotionally strong in times of crises. If Irish men don't let their emotions out, they'll hit the drink or let it out as anger - so you are very lucky!
BTW you don't need to actually say anything to John when he is crying. You could maybe stroke his hair of just soothe him like a child with 'there, there'. Don't feel awkward, all men are just little boys at heart :o)
I think John often needs someone to support him when he's upset, like a few days ago he had an upset stomach with stress, so he got his twin brother to help him. And if he needs a little cry, he'll always shed a few tears on your shoulder!
It probably is the reason for my boys' dependency on John - they see my own awkwardness and slip in to be with him.
I don'y think John would ever hit the drink or turn to anger; even if he is Irish - he's either far too sensible or far too caring - possibly both!
I gave him a big hug the last time he cried in bed, and we ended up sleeping clasped together, it was so sweet. And in the morning he was very adorable (heeheehee...!) I guess it pays off!
Is it normal that I feel awkward when my husband cries?
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What do you know? My question exactly.
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joybird
11 years ago
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Hey PP ignore the eejits, they don't mean any harm really.
I can only suggest that you respond to him, as you see him respond to the boys. He has to know it's ok to let it out otherwise he will bottle it all up and let it eat away at him.
I'm almost imagining that he's comparing his wonderful life now to the horrid memories he had as a child - so his tears may be of gratitude as well as frustration. If it isn't instinctive to you, I'd treat him like my child and put my arm under his head and pull him close onto my shoulder and hold him tightly. I'd let him cry for as long as he needed, or maybe until he fell asleep.
If this doesn't come naturally to you, then you may have discovered the reason for your twins' reliance on John. Boys (aka men) often don't need you to solve any of their problems, they just want a good strong hug to know that you care. My son (@ 5yo) hobbled for days after scraping his knee. I said it couldn't still be sore but he insisted it was .... coz I hadn't kissed it better 2 days before :o)
It's as if they just want to know that, if you could, you would take their pain away. Hope this makes sense!
It's great that you two are so close and it does usually need one person to seem / be emotionally strong in times of crises. If Irish men don't let their emotions out, they'll hit the drink or let it out as anger - so you are very lucky!
BTW you don't need to actually say anything to John when he is crying. You could maybe stroke his hair of just soothe him like a child with 'there, there'. Don't feel awkward, all men are just little boys at heart :o)
Good luck girl!
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*~ThePurplePixie~*
11 years ago
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Such awesome advice, thank you!
I think John often needs someone to support him when he's upset, like a few days ago he had an upset stomach with stress, so he got his twin brother to help him. And if he needs a little cry, he'll always shed a few tears on your shoulder!
It probably is the reason for my boys' dependency on John - they see my own awkwardness and slip in to be with him.
I don'y think John would ever hit the drink or turn to anger; even if he is Irish - he's either far too sensible or far too caring - possibly both!
I gave him a big hug the last time he cried in bed, and we ended up sleeping clasped together, it was so sweet. And in the morning he was very adorable (heeheehee...!) I guess it pays off!
xx
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joybird
11 years ago
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Aw he sounds wonderful.
You are very lucky. xx