IIN that I fanticize about being disrespected and treated like a slut?

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago | pl

    Your sex life is totally separate from the rest of your life. So being disrespected might turn you on sexually, but that doesn't mean you want to be disrespected at other times.
    There's no contradiction there because it's a completely different thing.
    You can't really help what turns you on. But you do decide your social/political views and how you like to be treated at other times.

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    • lovekitty309
      8 years ago | pl

      that makes me feel a thousand times better. thank you

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago | pl

      Is that really true though or is it something we like to tell ourselves, that our sexual preferences have nothing to do with our personality other than sexually?

      That's like saying that someone could enjoy watching real videos of children being killed/murdered because they are strangely attracted to that as entertainment. Would you forget about that person's preference in entertainment if, say, they offered to babysit for you with the belief that it's just their method of entertainment and should not reflect on who they are personally outside of their preference of entertainment?

      Personally I don't think there's a problem with her sexual preference, she should be careful with it though, however I don't think sexual preference is some caged off part of our beings that is seperate from the rest of our personalities. So I'd say that although there's nothing wrong with her preference, it's still rather contradictory.

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      • victorygin
        8 years ago | pl

        I definitely think you're right, in that sexuality isn't separate from personality. They're probably very much related.

        I just think it's ok to cognitively separate the two, because 1) you don't really have much control over what turns you on, but you can control how you think about other things,
        and 2) Sexual kinks are only relevant when you're having sex - so they can be put away the rest of the time.

        When I wrote that first comment, I was thinking that sex drive and sexuality are like a really primitive part of us. So there might be desires associated with it, that just don't correlate with modern ways of thinking. But they're still in our minds, like vestiges of the past.

        So it's ok to indulge them. But we're capable of thinking beyond those primitive desires when we think about other things, like feminism.

        And even if aspects of sexuality aren't like some residual evolutionary trait. If that's just bullshit, well the fact still remains that sexuality is weird. It's a strange, personal thing that we all have.
        And mostly we can't help what turns us on (imo), so it's ok to put that to one side. It's ok to compartmentalise your sexuality (which you can't really change anyway) whilst you go figure out how you feel about feminism.

        tl;dr So I guess I'm trying to say, you're right - sexuality isn't some caged off part of us, but I do think it's ok to think about it like that. And it's ok to indulge desires that contradict our other ...sensibilities, as long as it's all consensual etc. And yeh, it is contradictory in a sense*, but that's ok imo.

        Sorry for the rantiness/repetition. But hopefully that made some vague sense...

        *(and I just contradicted myself....)

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