Is it normal that i fanstasize about being raped all the time?!

pain and biting and rough sex have always been turn ons for me and im always horny and it scares guys away when I tell them

Is It Normal?
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  • Wait, you scare off guys when you tell them you like rough sex? Are you looking in a church? Lol. There's nothing wrong with liking it a certain way, and plenty of guys are open minded so just keep looking

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  • There's a difference between rough sex and rape.

    Plenty of guys enjoy a bit of rough 'n' tumble.

    Being horny "all the time" on the other hand is less normal. Most people don't have such high sex-drives.

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  • I don't blame these guys for being scared away. I think you ought to seek out the advice of a therapist or counselor. You could be missing out on an opportunity with a genuinely nice guy only to attract a sadistic bastard who will actually hurt you in away that you won't enjoy.

    Read about the accounts of women and men who are rape survivors and those who have lived with domestic violence. What you're fantasizing about isn't fun, healthy or normal. Some will hate on me and say this is simply a fetish, but I assert that such fetishes come out of deeply rooted psychiatric pathologies originating in early childhood traumas. I've never met anyone who was deeply into the BDSM lifestyle who had a healthy and normal childhood.

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    • Yes, it's normal, and I'll explain why.

      The difference between a rape fantasy and an actual raping is that in the fantasy, you are in complete control, as it's in your head. You can decide who rapes you, whether you want them to be ugly, good looking, fat, thin, old, young, whatever, and you have complete control over what they do to your body. It's an appealing fantasy because it lets you be submissive - without actually losing control. You get to imagine being irresistibly attractive, and also not being responsible for any 'dirty' things you might want to act out.

      When you are actually raped, you have no control, it is terrifying, it is humiliating beyond belief, it is so traumatising that your sexuality can shut down completely.

      As someone who experienced rape fantasies as a teenager, and then was unfortunate enough to be gang-raped as a young woman (two years ago), I cannot stress enough the difference between the two things. As someone who has experienced rape, I am not offended by your fantasy - as far as I'm concerned, it is so different from the actual experience that they are almost unrelated. Yet I have also read stories by other young women saying that they actually go out looking to be raped - I URGE YOU not to put yourself at risk. You have no idea of the reality of rape until you've actually suffered it. Keep it between consenting partners, or in your head, please.

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      • Thats well put (and I'm sorry for the trauma you experienced).

        Its even less of an issue if a person is into "rough" sex. As long as everything is consensual, nothing wrong with it.

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  • As Rose said above, this can be a dangerous fetish to be in to. And it does have it's backgrounds. But I don't think it's something that you should tuck away if you dont want to. Rape "fantasies" are usually just that. Not an invitation to be physically and emotionally raped. However not all people understand this concept and many of the dimensions and forms that a fetish can take on. If you want to indulge, talk with your partner and make sure you two trust each other, know each other pretty well, have safe words and lay down ALL the boundaries. When done safely, rough sex and rape roleplay can be very enjoyable.

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