I suspect the desire is sexually rooted in some way even though it may not seem that way to you. It's hard to believe it's not sexual sadism in some capacity, which is a desire hard to satisfy especially if non consent is part of the appeal. Try to diminish these thoughts and experiment with sexual sadism with consent.
IIN that I enjoy the thought of harming people?
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I suspect the desire is sexually rooted in some way even though it may not seem that way to you. It's hard to believe it's not sexual sadism in some capacity, which is a desire hard to satisfy especially if non consent is part of the appeal. Try to diminish these thoughts and experiment with sexual sadism with consent.