Is it normal that i enjoy destroying my health?

So, I think a little bit of it is maybe more normal than we might think at first?

Like I am a smoker - like I smoke all the time - and I'm addicted and ok whatever - but I think there is a part of my brain that like really really likes the fact that being a smoker is dangerous and risky and that it hurts me - totally crazy sounding I know - But it's there for sure

Plus, I took a psychology class in college and I remember something about Freud and the death drive and it being linked to the sex drive? I'm sure I'm not explaining it right because I got anC in that class - lol

But yeah I think it's totally way more normal that people might imagine

It's unfortunate, but a lot of people are driven by self-loathing.

By definition, you can't be happy with your life if you want it over and done with, but it's your life to waste if you want.

By the laws of biology and evolution, that is definitely not normal.