Is it normal that i dont want guys to like me?

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10 Comments

I am so insecure and confused about myself and my body and my looks that i cant stand the fact of someone liking me. Or guys who are friends with my brother add my facebook and hit on me. I get so uncomfortable because i feel that guys only like super thin, long hair, pretty girls. I am told im normal, very pretty and some people actually think im a slut cuz i apparently look like i wouldnt be a virgin. Well, Guess what. I am almost 20, never been kissed, never had a boyfriends, and of course a virgin. One of my roommates heard a guy in our apartment and automatically assumed i bring guys home. So i guess people think im pretty, and whatever. I don't. I cant even look in a mirror for too long.

So is it normal, to not want people to like me?

I have had guys who wanted to take me out and blah blah but i turn them down because i dont think im worth the relationship. Plus i do not want to be in a relationship until i am 100 pounds. unrealistic..? then i guess so is a relationship. because i will never be comfortable in my body to do that.

My friends and family pressure me to get a boyfriend and etc.

I feel hopeless, lonely and i feel like a waste of life.

Help me out? or if theres anyone out there like me...?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Tempest-au
    7 years ago | pl

    This is sad. Yet another case of a woman valuing her self-worth on her appearance.

    No matter how you look, there will always be some people who like your appearance, and some people who don't. You could be 100lb, or 300lb, and this fact will remain the same - some will like your appearance, and some won't.

    The ironic part is that if a person likes you primarily for your appearance, sooner or later as your appearance changes they will like you less. This is unavoidable - we all change as the years go on.

    The solution, obviously, is to find someone who likes you irrespective of your appearance. Then as your body changes over time, the affection they feel for you is far more likely to remain unchanged.

    Another thing I have noticed, and this is just a personal observation, is that the "stereotypically beautiful" women (you know, the model types, etc) have really ugly, self centred personalities and really couldn't give two shits about anyone apart from themselves. Conversely, the "plain" women tend to have far more beautiful personalities, are more warm and caring, and generally a lot more pleasant to be around.

    Go watch a movie called "Shallow Hal". It's a comedy, but it's a comedy with a lot of good messages in it about body image and what a sham it is.

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  • Flowersunshinemoonprincess
    9 years ago | pl

    I'm the same way it's okay :)

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  • Pace
    10 years ago | pl

    I can't wait til you're too late and you miss out, and suddenly you'll be desperate for anyone at all to wabt you. Then maybe you'll appreciate what you've got.

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  • robbieforgotpw
    10 years ago | pl

    100 lbs is probably too small for you. How tall r u?

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  • coolio75650932
    11 years ago | pl

    i like you :3 ha beat you all to it you snooze you lose!

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  • orchid1227
    13 years ago | pl

    I know that low feeling... google ways on building self confidence, see a therapist, find a support group... you can't let yourself live through this misery forever.

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  • mtnw
    13 years ago | pl

    you are more than just a body. you sound like you are saying you want a boyfriend when everything is perfect, weight etc. you are worth the relationship, YOU ARE

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    • sYki
      10 years ago | pl

      this was nice but I changed the word boyfriend to girlfriend.

      The person who made this threat sounds like me (but I'm a straight male almost 30, and not a virgin(but still close)).

      I'm like this but would read:

      "..I am told im normal, very *handsome and some people actually think im a *pig cuz i apparently look like *a ladies man....I have had *girls who wanted to take me out and blah blah but i turn them down because i dont think im worth the relationship..."

      I fear being labeled a pig by women for being sexually attracted to women, and feel insecure with other guys cause I don't see women as pieces of meat.

      I'm 10 years deeper in and never had a "real girlfriend" cause I pass on all the opportunities, I feel your pain and you've only had a taste of mine, dont end up like me, the longer you put it off the harder it gets.

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  • girl420
    13 years ago | pl

    you shouldn't feel like you don't deserve a relationship because you don't think you look the part, because thats just not true. i can see where you're coming from tho, everyone is insecure. just try to do whatever you think will make you happy.

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  • imjustme
    13 years ago | pl

    i think it is perfectly fine because us girls do not guys to be happy. I do want a guy because i want someone to take care of me, love me, and keep me safe, but its ok wanting to not be liked. If you are happy alone thats fine its your decision, no one should make it for you.

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