Is it normal that i don't want to be alive?

I got consent. They asked me and I was like “sure I’ll give it a go”
I had no idea what I was getting myself into

I relate to this deeply. There was a time in my early teen years all the way to my twenties that I had those thoughts. Certain things people were okay with (getting a job, getting a nice car, going out to dinner etc) made little to no sense in the grand scheme of things. People in the world live by the idea that ignorance is bliss (hence all the littering, overlooking sweatshops make their clothes, famine in other countries, religious hatred et). It's easier for them to see the world within a sort of bubble than to face reality. It's why you'll rarely get people outside your social circle asking for your feelings on matters of life and death.

Life in itself is a rollercoaster, it'll be hard, it'll be interesting, it'll be painful, it'll be beautiful, it'll be lonely, it'll be happy, it'll be sad, and it'll be adventurous. What's important is to remind yourself of the little things. Those brief moments of calm. That time you share your first kiss, your first adrenaline high from bungee jumping, sky diving, riding a rollercoaster etc. Remember saying "I love you" for the first time and hearing them say it back, remember something said by a family member that meant a lot to you, remember an achievement in school (even if small).

If at the end of the day you find yourself unable to find happiness by the things you've done/achieved for yourself, perhaps you should consider working toward helping others? Become a volunteer worker? a carer? Someone who gives often finds reward in the smiles and gratitude of those they help. :)

so have some fun & stick it to the man while you can cause itll be over soon enough anyhow

life is bein born to suffer & die its a fact

maybe tryn lessen someone elses sufferin just because you can

I get it. I feel that too sometimes. I think many people do feel that way either a bit or a lot in their lives but don't actually intend to hurt themselves. It might mean that so far you haven't found the point to your life. My opinion is that each of us has a point for being here and everyone is unique. Sometimes it's subtle and sometimes very visible. I often questioned what's the point in being here but the last few years I've started to wonder if I have had a positive effect on someone's life without realising it. That little smile I might have given someone might have made a world of difference to them even though I wasn't aware of it and it really was nothing for me. That's what keeps me going... the wondering and the never really knowing for sure. I know my heart is good and I am kind to people. I sometimes wonder if I helped someone without knowing it that day. Perhaps that is the point of my life. What I'm trying to say is that perhaps the point to some of our lives is a gift we aren't aware we are giving and that makes each of us important. We all belong here and we are all needed.

It's normal to be so negative and depressed but your arguments are shit.

"I dIDn'T cONsEnT tO beIng bORn!"

Chief, that's not how this works. There is no you to ask for consent to. Quit trying to blame it on the rules and take some responsibility for your own life.

I have some of the same thoughts OP but I think that most people don’t.

I honestly have just started doing things because it's "what I'm supposed to do." I take happiness from very little in life, and see no point in really going with it but I can't kill myself so I've just resolved to live my life to the best of my ability with the small chance I might find a small glimmer of happiness somewhere in a wife, a child, a collection of some kind, or something. Idk.