This is a really sad situation - it's not normal, but it does happen, and abusing the parent isn't going to change how he/she feels about the child. My aunt is similar. She has four kids, she absolutely worships the two boys in the middle, and to a lesser degree the younger daughter. Her oldest child, she was besotted with, until the second came along. Since then, K has been treated like shit. It's awful to see, and completely inspiring to see how strong a woman my cousin has become inspite of her mother.
Counselling would be a really, really good idea to help you cope/correct your feelings towards your son. Yes, it's an effort to show love to other human beings at times, even children, but it really is necessary for their development. Maybe a good counsellor could suggest a parenting course or similar. Also, counselling for your son would help - I'd say he has some built up resentment from your damaged relationship.
Some books I would recommend: "Your Competent Child" by Jesper Juul (out of print, only available on Amazon - def UK, maybe US) and "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Graham Chapman (religious book, but a sound basis if you ignore the religion - unless, of course, religion is your thing) and also "How Not To F*** Them Up" by Oliver James.
Good luck. I hope you can find help for you and your son.
Is it normal that I don't love my son?
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This is a really sad situation - it's not normal, but it does happen, and abusing the parent isn't going to change how he/she feels about the child. My aunt is similar. She has four kids, she absolutely worships the two boys in the middle, and to a lesser degree the younger daughter. Her oldest child, she was besotted with, until the second came along. Since then, K has been treated like shit. It's awful to see, and completely inspiring to see how strong a woman my cousin has become inspite of her mother.
Counselling would be a really, really good idea to help you cope/correct your feelings towards your son. Yes, it's an effort to show love to other human beings at times, even children, but it really is necessary for their development. Maybe a good counsellor could suggest a parenting course or similar. Also, counselling for your son would help - I'd say he has some built up resentment from your damaged relationship.
Some books I would recommend: "Your Competent Child" by Jesper Juul (out of print, only available on Amazon - def UK, maybe US) and "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Graham Chapman (religious book, but a sound basis if you ignore the religion - unless, of course, religion is your thing) and also "How Not To F*** Them Up" by Oliver James.
Good luck. I hope you can find help for you and your son.