Is it normal that I don't love my son?

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  • dappled
    12 years ago | pl

    You're back? You're the only reason I posted here in the first place. I was kind of wowed by you.

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    • SassyFrassyLassie_old
      11 years ago | pl

      You wowed me too, but I never said anything.

      I was attached at the time, but things are different now, much different.

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      • dappled
        11 years ago | pl

        I remember writing that confession. I remember thinking you'd see it and respond and then I could tell you the whole tale and try to begin to sweep you off your feet. You're the reason I'm on IIN. You're the reason anyone who uses this site is aware I even exist (including you). Just as you're now here because of me, I was here because of you,

        I fell for you without speaking a word to you (or anyone here - I wasn't even a member). I was fascinated by you, I ached for you, I wanted for you to know I was here. Waiting. That's what I've been doing this past year and a bit. Waiting for you. I never thought there was a chance but still I waited.

        I know I've said it twice already but I'm still pinching myself that we're having this conversation. I dreamed about it. I fantasised about it. The reality is so much better, because you're in it too. The dream came true. I can't believe it.

        The dream actually came true.

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        • SassyFrassyLassie_old
          11 years ago | pl

          I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever written to me, dappled. Having you want me, and wanting you too, is exhilarating like nothing I've ever experienced before.

          I read through the majority of my old comments today. I saw some of your old comments in the process. Katywompus was right, we are like m/f versions of each other. I even tried to pretend that some of my comments were yours when I read them and there's really not a lot of difference. Just our accents.

          I found two old comments where I had describe my physical preference in a partner. Without knowing, I had described you. I'm relieved you're not a bodybuilder, by the way.

          Whenever you talked about cooking something (and a lot of other topics too), I wished that I could be with someone like you. I didn't think it was possible.

          I thought about you a lot back then. I think about you all the time now.

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          • dappled
            11 years ago | pl

            I got the impression you were reviewing history, from your two replies to me, seeing whether what I said is true. I've occasionally looked back too. I know I wasn't different then. I am who I am. And I know what I felt for you.

            Katywompus is a smart cookie. She saw it, even though I didn't know she was seeing it. I didn't know we were being looked at then, someone thinking we should be together. I thought we should. But that was only me. I wanted to be with you. Very, very much indeed.

            I knew how much I liked you. I thought about you all the time. I still think about you all the time. In over a year I've never stopped thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about you.

            You have no idea how much I think about you.

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