The guys you date bring up sex "too soon" you say. What's "too soon"? Within an hour? After three dates? After dating for three months?
You don't have to like sex, but you should know that it's a very rare guy who doesn't like and want sex.
The way you phrase your question suggests that the reason you don't _want_ sex, is because you've never _enjoyed_ sex. If that's the case, there are a few possibilities. Maybe you're just one of those rare people who has no interest whatsoever in sex. You could be totally inhibited sexually and hate your own body so much that you're incapable of enjoying sex. Or maybe you've never been with a guy who has the sensitivity and skills necessary to give you sexual pleasure.
If your attitude is that sex is something you allow a guy to do to you, then it's always going to be a pretty crap experience.
Do you enjoy solo-sex? If you don't know how to give yourself sexual pleasure - or you don't allow yourself to give yourself sexual pleasure - then it's unlikely that you're ever going to find someone with whom you'll enjoy having sex.
Sex is not an obligatory part of life. You can just call yourself asexual and refuse to ever have anything to do with it. It's your body and you have the right to do that.
However, unless you're going to only date asexual guys (or girls), you have to accept that guys are going to be interested in having sex with you.
Too soon as within a couple of dates or even sooner. I can get myself off but I could also just as easily live without it. As for others, it's very extremely rare that they get me off and even when they do, I'd rather live without it.
Nickvey makes the point rather crudely, but frankly, I think it's pretty messed-up to have sex with a guy when you'd rather not do it, you go into it knowing you're not going to enjoy it, and even if you do have an orgasm, you don't like it (although how the hell someone can have an orgasm and not enjoy it is a mystery to me).
When I have sex, the pleasure I give is more important to me that what I get. If I just want to have an orgasm, I can jerk off.
The feeling I get is that, if I'd had the misfortune to date someone like you and we had - by some miracle - ended up having sex, I would have found the experience profoundly disappointing. So much so, that it would have never happened again.
And, since I believe sex is an important part of bonding with someone, the relationship would have ended very quickly.
But then I'm not asexual, and that's obviously the sort of person you need to find.
Is it normal that I don't like sex, at all?
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The guys you date bring up sex "too soon" you say. What's "too soon"? Within an hour? After three dates? After dating for three months?
You don't have to like sex, but you should know that it's a very rare guy who doesn't like and want sex.
The way you phrase your question suggests that the reason you don't _want_ sex, is because you've never _enjoyed_ sex. If that's the case, there are a few possibilities. Maybe you're just one of those rare people who has no interest whatsoever in sex. You could be totally inhibited sexually and hate your own body so much that you're incapable of enjoying sex. Or maybe you've never been with a guy who has the sensitivity and skills necessary to give you sexual pleasure.
If your attitude is that sex is something you allow a guy to do to you, then it's always going to be a pretty crap experience.
Do you enjoy solo-sex? If you don't know how to give yourself sexual pleasure - or you don't allow yourself to give yourself sexual pleasure - then it's unlikely that you're ever going to find someone with whom you'll enjoy having sex.
Sex is not an obligatory part of life. You can just call yourself asexual and refuse to ever have anything to do with it. It's your body and you have the right to do that.
However, unless you're going to only date asexual guys (or girls), you have to accept that guys are going to be interested in having sex with you.
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Anonymous Post Author
5 years ago
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Too soon as within a couple of dates or even sooner. I can get myself off but I could also just as easily live without it. As for others, it's very extremely rare that they get me off and even when they do, I'd rather live without it.
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Boojum
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So do yourself a favor and live without it.
Nickvey makes the point rather crudely, but frankly, I think it's pretty messed-up to have sex with a guy when you'd rather not do it, you go into it knowing you're not going to enjoy it, and even if you do have an orgasm, you don't like it (although how the hell someone can have an orgasm and not enjoy it is a mystery to me).
When I have sex, the pleasure I give is more important to me that what I get. If I just want to have an orgasm, I can jerk off.
The feeling I get is that, if I'd had the misfortune to date someone like you and we had - by some miracle - ended up having sex, I would have found the experience profoundly disappointing. So much so, that it would have never happened again.
And, since I believe sex is an important part of bonding with someone, the relationship would have ended very quickly.
But then I'm not asexual, and that's obviously the sort of person you need to find.